It is my absolute pleasure and honor to introduce you to Jen. Jen’s story is a personal and deep one, and I am so honored to have been a witness to her incredible journey (and I know that journey is just beginning!) She has put so much effort and love into covering her hair, and has been wonderfully open about her struggles and successes. She truly has come into her own in developing the perfect tichel style for her unique personality – it’s so inspiring! Even though we’ve never met in person, I feel so connected to her, and can’t wait to the one day that we can meet! Here she is!
Many people have asked how I came to start covering my hair …..
I first felt the desire to cover in around 2009. At the same time we were coming out of the church and moving through the “Hebrew Roots Movement” – which turned to to be a very brief period, as intensive study led us both, separately, by the beginning of 2010, to prepare for conversion to Judaism. That, of course, is another story!
I started covering very occasionally between 2009 and 2010 – mainly for Shabbat meals, but when we were coming up against more than the 3 traditional “obstacles” in our quest to pursue conversion (another story!), I stopped covering. But there must still have been some underlying or subconscious desire deep within me, because I kept purchasing scarves!
About 18 months ago, I started covering at home to read the parashah on Shabbat, and on sundays for shopping. Shortly thereafter, we started attending synagogue in preparation for conversion and I asked someone in a leadership position if I would be able to cover. I was told it was “not done” and I could wear a kippah if I liked. Wearing a kippah was, for me personally, absolutely out of the question. Only the Rabbi’s wife wears a kippah when she occasionally attends services. Hubby and I both understood the “not done” to mean “may not be done” so I continued to cover my hair on Shabbat mornings to read the parashah and then remove it to go to services. After a few months we thought to ourselves “this is ridiculous!” so in May we approached our Rabbi and asked his permission to cover. He readily agreed, he was almost surprised we had asked his permission and even more perplexed that we had both felt dissuaded by this other person. I still remember the first time I covered for a service. I was so self-concious and I know that people were looking at me. But I survived, and each week, for both the Kabbalat Shabbat and Shacharit Services, I attended, wrapped. At this point I was showing my fringe and doing very simple wraps.
Around February/March I had come into contact with “Wrapunzel” on Facebook. Two amazing Jewish ladies, passionate about the mitzvah of headcovering, who first created a blog with tutorials and then opened an online scarf and accessory “paradise”. They, together with the Wrapunzel Fan Group on Facebook, gave me so much encouragement, support and teaching.
Covering is something that is unusual in our city, even with a predominantly orthodox community, and it was extremely difficult for me to go to service after service, knowing that I was “sticking out like a sore thumb” and knowing that people were talking. Some people asked me about it directly and I appreciated the opportunity to try to put into words why I chose to cover. I continued to cover just for services and on sundays. I was too nervous about the reaction if I extended my wrapping to community events or for work.
I decided to cover for work for Tisha B’Av and was met with quite a positive reaction. The timing probably wasn’t the best because I felt quite bad getting so many compliments on what was the saddest day in the Jewish calendar! I explained to my boss afterwards why I had covered and said I would like to do it more regularly. He told me that he didn’t care what I wore on my head!! I then covered for a two day Jewish conference in August, which was attended by about 150 Jews, mainly orthodox, and I received quite a few negataive comments and stares. I still held my head up high, though, even though on the inside I was a wreck! One of the overseas presenters wore a headcovering (the only other person present), and although I didn’t get the chance to speak to her, there was a “smile of sisterhood” between us.
On 1 September 2014, I decided to “take the plunge” and cover full time for work and public, still showing my fringe because I’d had one since I was 13 (nearly 36 years!) and I thought I looked too wierd with it tucked in. My boss was a little “bemused” because I don’t think he realised that “more regularly” was going to turn into “all the time”. In late October, I made the decision that if I believed strongly in head covering, then I should cover ALL of it. And since then, I have not left the house uncovered, even to the extent of keeping a cap at hand should anyone knock on the door or for running down to the communal washlines. During this time I have acquired more confidence and maybe a little bit more skill!
I still cannot express eloquently WHY I choose to cover. I just know that I HAVE to. There is a burning desire within me to do it, to honour my Creator, and to honour my husband. I choose to cover in a way that is both modest but fairly attractive at the same time. I don’t believe in looking ugly. But I’ve never felt ugly in even the most simple Israeli tichel. I feel set apart, beautiful, feminine. Whilst there may not be a specific instruction in Torah “thou shalt cover” there is enough “evidence” to convince me that it was a tradition even in those days. Rivka covering herself before meeting Yitzchak, and the story of the “Sotah” in Numbers are two examples.
I still meet with criticism and occasionally it has been cruel and uncalled for. I have brushed it off in public and cried in private. I have sometimes said “I can’t do this anymore”. But when it comes down to it, I could not even conceive the idea of leaving my home without a covering. I have regular “tichel tantrums” when my scarves won’t sit properly (“tichel” is the yiddish word for scarf) and because of my problem wrist, sometimes battle with a simple knot. I am so grateful for a husband who supports, encourages, and even helps wrap my scarves when I can’t do it myself. I am also so grateful to the communities on Facebook who are there with advice, encouragement, support, love, friendship …. and yes, even loving honesty when I ask for opinions & advice.
I do not regret my choice to cover, even though it is a “lonely” choice. I believe it is a beautiful mitzvah. And it’s a mitzvah I’d encourage all ladies to try! You might just feel as special as I do.
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Meet Ariella! When we first met, I was like, “There’s another blonde, funky, frum (Torah observant), classical musician string player in the world?! Yay!” She seriously rocks my socks off! Here are some gorgeous, fun photos of her, and an interview! You’ll love hearing what she has to say!
Hi Ariella, can you tell us a bit about yourself, how you spend your time, what you love to do, where you live, etc.? Hey there everyone, I’m Ariella Zeitlin-Hoffman, a violinist from Israel. I grew up in Baltimore, and made aliyah to Israel when I was 18 (on my birthday) spent a year learning Hebrew, and then went into the Jerusalem Academy of Music and Dance where I met Andrea and her husband Yonatan. Music is a huge part of my life-My parents are kind of the hippie rock stars of the community we lived in, and their Simchat Beit HaShoeva was the place to be for years and years-Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach used to pop in yearly, but I don’t remember him so I don’t have any great stories except there was one year that the whole sukka fell over and I remember a feeling of panic because they were expecting a hundred or so people. My grandfather, Zvi Zeitlin was considered by the NY Times to be the Methuselah of violin players-making a full recital on his 90th birthday! Today I play one of his violins and use a bow which was made exclusively for him by a jeweler named Henry Kasten. So I always had those two important influences in my life-the classical and the folk, and as a musician I’m really connected to both genres, which has made me very in demand (thank G-D!) as a studio player because I keep it in both worlds with note reading, improvising, and playing by ear. Time, time! I’m still at home with our baby, and summer vacation is just finished now so I’ve been spending an awful lot of time with the family-when it’s regular time, which is starting now, I really spend all of my time either playing violin, teaching, spending time with my family, or dealing with the house type of stuff that nobody wants to do (except those crazy Pinterest moms who I aspire to be like). I’m also a super nerdy crafter (seem like the type, eh?) and love to crochet, sew, bake, and upcycle furniture-I love painting and sanding and getting my hands dirty. My husband makes beer so he’s also crafty like that. In terms of work, I teach and I do a lot of freelance work-concerts, bar shows, studio sessions, etc. So I’m really busy! And even when I’m not busy with work, there’s always something else to do. We live today in Herzliya, where my husband works as the Rabbi for Jeff Seidel’s student center, so we have programs of different kinds almost every night of the week in our house. Sometimes I’m there, sometimes not-depends on how worn out I am. I also have the attitude that when I’m at home I’m all at home-I try to keep my mind off of other projects so when I’m at home, and I really try to keep my phone far away until our kids are asleep. With my big daughter in Pre-K, our baby boy is mainly with me except when I have work. Sometimes think about getting a real job and putting him in daycare, but I love being a mom, and he’s an easy kid so I get a lot done.
Do you have a favourite composition? Or a few favourites? Why? So a few months ago, I had a series of concerts where I performed the Mendellsohn Violin Concerto with an all-women’s orchestra from Jerusalem with concerts all over the country. There were 5 concerts in total, and there are some plans to resume the tour in the fall, but nothings set in stone yet. They’re making sure I’m still practicing!! Anyways, back to Mendellsohn. I mean he was just brilliant and stunning in his writing. Gorgeous music. The concerto is also unique because the way it is written is kind of like an exchange between the orchestra and the soloist, and I love how the theme starts in the violin at the beginning instead of the opposite, which is more standard, setting the scene for the drama of the orchestra to come in. Ahh…Mendellsohn. Also the 3rd movement is a lot of fun. Another favorite piece is the Khachaturian Violin Concerto, which is a rich and intense musical drama-Khachaturian was an Armenian and the journey of the Armenians and the Jews has many parallels in the past century. In fact, my great grandparents were jailed in Russia because of Zionist activity, and they were put in front of an Armenian judge for trial, who empathized with their desire for a homeland and instead of sending them to Siberia as punishment, actually sent them to Palestine in 1927. And, and, and…well what I think is so great about loving music is that you’re really familiar with different types of music so you know what you want to hear at different times. There are very few genres that I dislike. I’ve experimented in everything, and love all kinds of music. I love show pieces-pieces written for the violin which classical performers call ‘fluff’-written to impress but not really deep. I play a lot of those in certain types of venues. I love singing, also and am currently working on a few singles of my original songs. I love 50’s rock and roll, I love any band with positive vibes and messages, I love dubstep and trance and folk and rock and fiddle music and country and middle eastern Arabic and am practicing my beatboxing!
How did you feel about hair covering before getting married? So I’d always been back and forth about my feelings about covering. On the one hand, I grew up in a community of coverers. There was only one woman who wore a beautiful tichel on a regular basis, Rivka Malka Perlman, but she was also so gorgeous and striking that whatever she wore on her head would have looked amazing (you all know what I’m talking about). Then I moved to Israel, went to Seminary, started seeing people in tichels, and then I went into University. And that was the first time I heard of this concept of head covering being oppressive to women-to me it was always just something people did, and I never asked too many questions. But all of my opinions were constantly being challenged by the people around me and I really started to question every single thing I had always taken for granted as true and normal. Was hair covering really oppressive? I started looking around and kind of left that particular issue aside-there were so many other issues to deal with and figure out where I stood on them that I hadn’t really thought of before. Then my journey brought me to my husband, and we spent a year and a half figuring out together what Judaism meant to both of us and who we wanted to be-and kind of discovered accidentally that we had fallen in love! So we ended up in the whole whirlwind of everything and the headcovering thing? I still hadn’t really given it a thought. Then when I got engaged, we went to the States and my mother bought me two wigs-a full one and a headband one. And I just kind of went with everything-actually my awesome husband came sheitel shopping with me! Not really done by anyone else, but the concept was so weird for me, that I felt like I needed him along for support, and it was a lot of fun, although I could tell that Tsfat had worn off on him and he wasn’t super into it. It was always taken for granted (for me) that I would cover my hair and I never gave it much thought. I bought a lot of fun wigs from the stores catering to black women that clipped on and I really had fun with the whole thing-but still hadn’t settled on what was me. I think the most important thing for anyone starting out and wanting to cover, is that don’t ever be totally set on what you’re going to wear-and don’t buy a lot of anything until you know what fits your personal style!!
How do you feel about it now and how has the journey been for you? So after I got married, I covered fully, but I really started hating covering. It felt uncomfortable, I felt like I stuck out-I wore a half wig with a hat or scarf to University so nobody would know I was covering fully, and then when someone would come near my head for any reason I would jump out of my skin because I REALLY didn’t want anyone to know I was wearing a wig (and whats the point if you’re trying so hard to make sure nobody knows?) So after a while I forewent the wigs. I almost never wear a wig now except for rock shows where I wear a wig that’s as big as rhode island but that’s for fun, not for modesty purposes. And I started doing what they call the ‘half cover’ where I wear a head covering both as a symbol of being married, as well as covering my head as opposed to all my hair, which is another opinion within the spectrum of Jewish law and which, for now, makes me feel the most myself. It also puts people more at ease in a professional setting, because they think I’m ‘cool’ which I just think is a little nutty, but people judge on appearances. I also do a lot of work in ultra-orthodox places, and I really change the way I look from place to place that I go, depending on the requests of the demographic.
What is your personal favourite way of covering your hair? My favorite way of covering is with a long scarf tied on my head with hair showing in the front and the back. It’s a look that makes me feel super bohemian princess. And I love accessorizing with glittery things! Hair clips, pins, sparkly headbands, and sparkly scarves, of course. I love drawing attention to the fact that I’m covering. Wearing scarves makes me feel like such an example of the beautiful parts of our traditions, especially when people see my fun ties and colorful accessories (probably sounds familiar to most of you on the blog!!)
Tips and tricks that you can share with us? – A couple of months ago, my husband and I did a home improvement project where we bought a broom stick, and chopped it into two pieces-one long and one short. We put them both on the walls with hooks and connected to chains and I now keep all my scarves there-they look so beautiful and it gives me such a wonderful feeling to walk into my room. Also lets me see all my scarves-long scarves on one, headbands on the other. Being able to see everything makes it so much easier to coordinate!
– Don’t buy a lot of anything specific when you’re just starting out. Everyone’s different, you’ll discover styles you love with scarves that you didn’t buy and end up with a hundred of the wrong type, haha!
– Velvet Headbands are amazing-buy at least two! – Those really pretty ones? The more expensive ones? I decided that I wanted to make my own last summer. But I’m the type that never does just one project. So I made 8. They take a LONG time. And they come out wonky if you’re not an excellent sewer. And they cost money for all the materials. The people who are good at making them really deserve what they’re charging. Obviously there’s a lot of value in doing projects for the sake of doing projects but if you look at something and think ‘I could do that myself’ I’d say if you’re pressed for time, or are not naturally meticulous, it’s really ok to invest in something beautiful and that they’re probably not overcharging. So treat yourself every once in a while!
– The confidence you have in whatever you do is way more important than what you’re wearing. In all matters. But be proud of the choices that you make, and always check in with yourself that you really feel good about what you are doing. Obviously there are reasons that people do things besides feeling good, but if you do anything specific, you have reasons that you do them. Make sure that your actions are consistent with your beliefs
Can you share a memorable hair covering moment? A few days after my wedding, when I was still figuring out the scarf thing and it was insanely hot I wore a thin slippery one, which, come to think of it I don’t think I’ve seen in years now but I liked. And if course it fell off in the bank. I unfortunately have had several situations where I was trying to juggle 4000 things and when the scarf came off, I looked around and everyone was kind of waiting for me to freak out-but these things happen, and what can you do. So I’ve just played it cool and I think people were disappointed! But that’s a memorable un-covering hair moment. A memorable hair covering moment would probably be the first time I played in a big show for a Dati-Leumi audience and I layered so many scarves my head almost fell off. But I really wanted that statement look! I try, whatever I am doing, to make the scarves a really important part of my look-because I think looking funky in scarves is an important statement and an important part of my identity.
What are you grateful for right now? I’m grateful for so many things! I often stop and count my blessings and I make grateful lists all the time-I’ve found that for me, gratitude is the thing that makes me feel most happy and satisfied. I also am a huge subscriber to dream charting-where you think about what you want to accomplish, and spend time every day thinking about how to get there, and some of that time appreciating the steps you’ve taken thus far. I have found that, although many people say that it’s hard to have a successful career In addition to being married and having children, that I’m probably much more successful than I might be if I weren’t married to my husband, who keeps me grounded and helps me to achieve success all the time. So he’s number one on grateful! I’m grateful to have a good life, a wonderful, healthy extended family, no debt (finally paid off all my student loans!!!), a successful career in something I truly love, good friends, and lots of dreams!
What do you want to bless the readers of Wrapunzel with for the coming Jewish Year? Judaism is all about starting fresh. Renewal, prayer, repentance, charity, and as we come to the new year, I want to bless you all that every bad moment and memory that is weighing you down will become a stone in the path that you realize that it has helped you to get where you are, and that you can take those moments and accept them, and really look at them with a fresh eye to see how they have brought you to where you are today, accept them, and then leave them be. A lot of people carry around the baggage of old relationships, or of bad situations of any kind. Stop. You are a new person from this very moment. You control your destiny. You are wonderful and talented and brilliant and special. For me, from a young age I had this *one thing* that was my gift. I was fat, I didn’t have many friends, but I was musical-and I felt chained to that description of me, like there was no other thing that I was. At a certain point I sunk into a low point of depression over that thought, but at a later point I realized we really are all a beautiful bouquet of wonderful gifts, and as I got older and was able to recognize my own gifts, I was able to appreciate and love others for their contributions to the world. When you realize that you are wonderful because you have a beautiful soul and you try to bring more joy, light, warmth, and kindness into the world, there is no greater feeling than to recognize that in others. So I bless you all that you can leave your baggage behind in order to bask in the light of the coming redemption!
I’m loving the look that came out of these scarves this morning! It manages to be both soft (the colours) and strong (the angles) at the same time! I’m using three scarves here: two 2 in 1s, and one ombre 2 in 1… it’s so light! And for those of you that are looking for colors that won’t overheat you, here is your answer!
And oh mannn… this necklace of my mother’s that I discovered recently (it’s also in the last post!); I’m wearing it almost every day! Now I just need to hunt some down for the store so you can all enjoy something similar!
And finally… the outfit! This skirt is a real winner – colorful, light, soft, and fun! And with all the teal and blue that is already in my wardrobe, it’s easy to put together gorgeous outfits! Love!
Hope you are all having a beautiful day!! Sending you a big smile and a reminder to everyone to take a few minutes today to talk to your creator about anything that is challenging you, and also give a big, grateful thank you for the gift that life is. Kol tuv! ❤
Love, Andrea
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I used to wear a lot of black (goth teenage stage)… then I stopped (hippy university stage)… then I wore almost all black and dark colours (embracing the norm of my Israeli neighbourhood which wasn’t really healthy)… then all bright colours (made aliyah)… and so the cycle continues. My relationship with black has always been conflicted; it is the dress code of concerts in the music world, and I always wasn’t a fan of that – though it DOES work in terms of looking sophisticated and not distracting from the music. I actually do find that it can look beautiful on me, as long as it’s not a norm, because it doesn’t always work well with my skin – I do find it very easy to slip into wearing it too much for my personality and features. Sometimes when I wear it now, I almost feel rebellious. ANYWAY – here is the tichel I wore! I was going for sophisticated and simple:
And then I decided to experiment and add some more pins! Not sure if I’m convinced by this idea… but I’m gonna work on tweaking it! I was trying to go for a flower bouquet look… maybe it will work with differing styles of pins? Let me know what you think!
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I’m so happy for you to meet our latest Lady Wrap Star, Helen! She is just so awesome! I actually don’t know her personally but after reading what she wrote and sharing in her head covering happiness I want to hop on the next bus to Manhattan and get to meet her!
Tichel Talk
Helen Shere
My name is Helen Shere, and I reside in Manhattan with my husband. I’m currently in my first year of a doctoral program in biomedical sciences. My concentration is in cancer biology; I spend half the day in class and the other half in lab, doing research.
I began covering my hair full-time the day after I married my best friend. It’s actually kind of funny—I hadn’t planned on covering full-time at all. I wasn’t raised Orthodox (I became a ba’alat teshuvah, a returnee to observant Judaism, in high school), and I always thought to myself, “Well, I went from doing nothing to keeping kosher and keeping Shabbat…I think HaShem (G-D) and I are doing pretty good here. I don’t really need to cover.” But, the first Sheva Bracha after our wedding was in a community in which the norm is for women to cover full-time, and I thought it would be appropriate to cover for that occasion out of respect for our hosts, who had gone to much trouble to make the event. So I bought a dress and a tichel to match it.
I remember getting ready to go to the Sheva Bracha and wrapping for the first time. As I wrapped, I remembered how I had heard from married friends that hair covering was a “hard” mitzvah (commandment). I waited for it to become “hard.” Looking back, I’m not sure what I expected to happen. I suppose that I was waiting for the “difficulty” of the mitzvah to suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks, but when I was done wrapping my tichel and looked in the mirror, I only saw myself…as a regal-looking woman who was publicly showing her connection to her husband and to HaShem. I’ve been covering every day since then, and have yet to find it burdensome.
I love wearing tichels! I cover with them nearly 100% of the time. I bought a sheitel (wig) after caving to the pressure of questions like, “But what will you wear to weddings?” but I’ve worn it less than 10 times in the eight months I’ve been married (and yes, I’ve worn tichels to weddings and gotten nothing but complements). I love playing with the colors and textures of scarves, and I appreciate the jolt of creativity it gives me in the morning when I pick out that day’s wrap.
On a practical note, working in a laboratory means that my hair has to be back in a ponytail or bun; tichels take care of that without looking dowdy. Also, before I was married, wearing my hair up/back was the norm for me, so I’m most comfortable with a head covering that allows me to wear my hair underneath it in a familiar style.
I’ve gotten nothing but positive feedback from my class- and lab-mates about my hair covering. I often give impromptu tutorials in the bathroom after class to classmates who are curious about how I wrapped that day’s tichel. Fun fact: I figured out which wrap styles and colors look best on me because one of the cashiers in my school’s cafeteria has made it her unofficial job to point them out to me! She’ll tell me, “That one I like. The one yesterday, not so much. You should wear more pink. ” She’s hilarious!
All Photography credit goes to: Rachel A. Minkoff!
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I just had to share my pre-tied look. Black. Chains. Pirate?! Ladies… this is a rarity! Nothing against pretieds… I just don’t wear them! Today while taking photos of the store’s new products (launches on Wednesday… ahhh!) I slipped on this old pretied and found myself wearing it for the rest of the day! It actually looks pretty cool paired with the hoop earrings, don’t you think? And it’s black (still can’t wrap my head around that)! Who woulda thunk it?
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I have been wearing versions of this wrap with this dress for months, and never got to snap a photo until now! Isn’t it amazing what a pin can do to the ends of a scarf? Loving this new trick! (I’m wearing a silk square scarf, a long burgundy sash, and a flower pin.)
And the dress? Of course it’s vintage and covers everything that I want covered! It was such a happy moment to find this beautiful creation, and I love wearing it! It’s flattering, flowy, feminine, colourful, and just makes me very grateful to be alive! Do you have anything in your wardrobe that helps bring out this part of you? Would love to hear about it!
Love, Andrea
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Wow! Hello stunning colour combinations! Check out all the different looks you can get from this wrap – all created by the ladies of Wrapunzel! Great technique, girls!! (Click on the photos to see them up close!)
This is Naomi. When this photo was taken she wasn’t yet covering her hair publicly.
(Yep, I stuck myself in there as well because I wanted to join the party!)
I have to mention that over Shabbat I met a woman for the first time lo and behold she was rocking the zig-zag criss-cross! What a treat and a bit of a surreal too! I am so proud of you all! Thank you everyone for your submissions and keep up the awesome work! (And yes, you can still send in photos and I will add them to this post.) Yay wrapping sisterhood solidarity!
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Many of you may remember Rebecca-Joy from a few months back; She commented on one of my daily wrap posts, asking incredibly poignant and important questions about hair wrapping. I did my best to answer, and then shared the post with the ladies of Wrapunzel. The response was overwhelming! So many women were eager to share their stories and ideas about hair covering. I was very grateful to Rebecca-Joy for being so honest and brave in opening up this discussion, and when I found out that she had indeed started to cover her hair as a result, I couldn’t wait to feature her as a Lady Wrap Star. Without further ado, here she is!
(All photos taken by Rebecca-Joy’s sister, Sarah)
“To me a scarf is so much more now than just something to wear around ones neck. In fact, before I found out about tichel trying I never knew what else to do with the scarves that I had, and I didn’t even like having a scarf around my neck anyway… it always got in the way. Now when I see a brightly colored scarf or a pretty sash I see potential. The potential for an amazing head covering that is not only beautiful but special and unique.
I began my hair wrapping journey only a few months ago, I was seventeen at the time and had recently been doing a lot of reading and research about head covering. During that time I stumbled upon Wrapunzel and needless to say, was amazed. I had never seen any head coverings before that were quite so… beautiful!
I liked the idea of using scarves and tichels to cover ones hair and so I decided to try it for myself. After all, what better way to use the scarves I had that were just kicking around waiting to be worn?!
First though, I had some questions. For instance: “Is having all those accessories on your head scarves still considered modest? Are you not drawing attention to yourself by having them on? And what about all the bright colors and interesting wraps. Is that not drawing attention to yourself as well?”
Through the kind and wise answers of not only the amazing author of this blog but also many kind readers as well I gained many insights and learned things about modesty in general that I did not know.
I then started hair wrapping not only because I love how it looks, but more importantly because I believe in being modest. The wonderful author and readers of Wrapunzel helped me to see that being modest doesn’t mean it doesn’t have to be beautiful. Quite the opposite. Modesty and beauty go hand in hand. True modesty is beauty. And true beauty is modesty. Once I understood that, things became much clearer.
I also believe that modesty pleases G-d and that He delights to see women who are trying to please Him in this way, small though it may seem. Modesty has become such a big issue in our culture but we don’t have to conform. Being modest is being different… and I’m okay with that.
Since I’ve started covering my hair now rarely do I go out without some sort of scarf on my head, although sometimes I still do. I love how versatile and comfortable it can actually be! On hot days I run a cotton scarf under cold water and wrap it around my head. It keeps me cool for hours.
So for me, head wrapping has been a very positive and rewarding experience. I have never received a negative or derogatory comment.
The following is a poem I wrote that I hope will encourage and inspire those just starting out or who are a bit discouraged. I haven’t been doing it long myself, but this is, in a nutshell, is what I’ve learned so far.”
Tichel Tying
Tichel tying is an art
that reflects a woman’s heart.
It’s a modest sort of beauty
that everyone can see.
So if you’re new to tichel tying
or you’ve already been trying,
bear that thought in mind
and leave your doubts behind.
Even though it does seen daunting
and a bit of skill is wanting,
it’s mainly practice that you need
and a few little tips to heed.
Start off nice and slow…
you’ll make progress as you go.
Don’t be discouraged at the sight
if it doesn’t look quite right.
If you keep on trying,
soon you will be tying
head wraps that you love
and please the One above.
Copyright Rebecca-Joy
In closing, I wish to say and big thank you to Andrea for featuring me as a Lady Wrap Star and for being such a wonderful and beautiful example for us all.
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About 18 months ago, I started covering at home to read the parashah on Shabbat, and on sundays for shopping. Shortly thereafter, we started attending synagogue in preparation for conversion and I asked someone in a leadership position if I would be able to cover. I was told it was “not done” and I could wear a kippah if I liked. Wearing a kippah was, for me personally, absolutely out of the question. Only the Rabbi’s wife wears a kippah when she occasionally attends services. Hubby and I both understood the “not done” to mean “may not be done” so I continued to cover my hair on Shabbat mornings to read the parashah and then remove it to go to services. After a few months we thought to ourselves “this is ridiculous!” so in May we approached our Rabbi and asked his permission to cover. He readily agreed, he was almost surprised we had asked his permission and even more perplexed that we had both felt dissuaded by this other person. I still remember the first time I covered for a service. I was so self-concious and I know that people were looking at me. But I survived, and each week, for both the Kabbalat Shabbat and Shacharit Services, I attended, wrapped. At this point I was showing my fringe and doing very simple wraps.
Around February/March I had come into contact with “Wrapunzel” on Facebook. Two amazing Jewish ladies, passionate about the mitzvah of headcovering, who first created a blog with tutorials and then opened an online scarf and accessory “paradise”. They, together with the Wrapunzel Fan Group on Facebook, gave me so much encouragement, support and teaching.
On 1 September 2014, I decided to “take the plunge” and cover full time for work and public, still showing my fringe because I’d had one since I was 13 (nearly 36 years!) and I thought I looked too wierd with it tucked in. My boss was a little “bemused” because I don’t think he realised that “more regularly” was going to turn into “all the time”. In late October, I made the decision that if I believed strongly in head covering, then I should cover ALL of it. And since then, I have not left the house uncovered, even to the extent of keeping a cap at hand should anyone knock on the door or for running down to the communal washlines. During this time I have acquired more confidence and maybe a little bit more skill!
I still cannot express eloquently WHY I choose to cover. I just know that I HAVE to. There is a burning desire within me to do it, to honour my Creator, and to honour my husband. I choose to cover in a way that is both modest but fairly attractive at the same time. I don’t believe in looking ugly. But I’ve never felt ugly in even the most simple Israeli tichel. I feel set apart, beautiful, feminine. Whilst there may not be a specific instruction in Torah “thou shalt cover” there is enough “evidence” to convince me that it was a tradition even in those days. Rivka covering herself before meeting Yitzchak, and the story of the “Sotah” in Numbers are two examples.
The Wrapunzel Blog 