We all know that wearing a tichel can attract a lot of attention. It may be modest, but it is different, and we often find that people show an interest in our behavior or values just based on the way we dress! So with all of that focus on us, what are some ways we can display our values positively?
Let’s start with words. We know not to gossip or slander, but what about positive speech?
Check out this amazing and inspiring conversation we had about the art of the compliment!
9 thoughts on “The Art of a Compliment”
Beautiful talk! Thank you! Actually feels like sitting with you on the couch and having a real heart to heart deep girls talk.
And if I may add, yes, lets make the world a more positive place with giving over compliments, but the light shines from the home outward. So ladies, remember, compliment your husband at least once a day (yes, even when he forgot to take out the trash again 😉 it may be hard at first, but you will get better at it! And compliment each of your children at least once a day, as Naomi Rose said, with a deep meaningful compliments. Thank you ladies, that’s the spirit, especially towards the new year! And here goes mine: Andrea and Naomi Rose, your video was inspirational, deep and meaningful!
Good video. It’s a good reminder of how we need to be cognizant of other people’s feelings AND our own. Compliments are sometimes hard to give and hard to receive. You remind us to be gracious in giving and receiving. Thank you.
I think its a great video. How should I handle the situation when I compliment someone, and they make it seem like it’s either only “flattery” or, they wonder if I have intentions? The truth is that I do compliment with genuine energy, and the only intentions I have is to connect with them and find the goodness in them. I don’t think its a bad thing.
Hi Esme! Certainly if you have good intentions that’s all you can do! It’s up to the other person to take your compliment seriously – if they brush it off, just forgive them. They might just be shy or uncomfortable accepting compliments (lots of us are!).
Thank you, great video!
Just one comment, though… Naomi mentioned to not compliment someone if you don’t mean it. If someone spent money, bought a skirt, and asked your opinion, I think you should compliment her on it, even if you don’t mean it.
Yes! Definitely an important situation to mention. Thank you!
You both radiate positivism, thank you for all your encouraging videos and inspiration!
Andrea, what is the name of your scarf? I knew teal looked great with everything and now I am thinking the one you are wearing would too because it resembles hair color.
Thank you both for shining light a light in a dark world. ❤
this was such a positive message, I enjoyed hearing it. Thank you. A few thoughts:
1) my husband is the King of Complimenting. He always thanks and shows appreciation to colleagues, me, the kids, family, friends. It creates such a beautiful positive atmosphere in our lives and it has really rubbed off on me and our kids. So I would encourage everyone to increase the number of compliments they give, it’s a cheap and effective way to increase joy and positivity in the world. (mental note: remember to tell my husband this when he gets home!)
2) I would be very cautious about complimenting someone via a family member e.g. “your husband is so amazing he spent two hours yesterday helping me fix my car” or “your mom is the best, she does so much for the community”. Unless you know the person really, really well you could unintentionally be fuelling discord. Perhaps the wife really needed her husband home yesterday because the baby had flu and she had been up all night. Perhaps mom is so busy being the community do-gooder that she forgets the leigitimate needs of her own kids. You could be touching on some sore points. I have seen this happen.
3) A few times I have received the “deep emotional” compliments of the kind you describe but honestly don’t really know what they are talking about. I smile and say thank you but wish I could ask more about it so that I can try to do more of that good thing the complimenter sees. But it seems immodest to say ” why thank you, tell me more…” what would you advise in this case?
Great topic! In my Jewish marriage workshop, our assignment is to find something everyday that we admire in our husbands and tell them. And, often to tell your husband something you admire in him (such as what an great dvar Torah) in front of other people can often make him feel 10 feet tall.
Your example about the well behaved children reminded me that several times, I have been in a restaurant or on a plane where there have been young children. And, I have often complimented the parents on how well-behaved their young child had been. Nice to see how the parents beam when hearing that their hard work is paying off.
One important thing that is very much overlooked that has been a topic in my same Jewish marriage workshop is to remember to compliment ourselves even for basic things. We need to be our own cheerleaders and recognize the nice things that we do that others may not notice but do make a difference. For example, I made a nice healthy lunch for my children. Or, wow, I got three loads of laundry done today! And follow it with: Good for me! I found the time to take my child to the playground. Good for me! I called my elderly aunt today! Good for me! You get the idea.
And, there is usually something good one can say to someone even if it is thank you for helping me load the groceries. Many of these people feel that no one notices them. And saying it with a smile make it seem very genuine.