The Wrapunzelution has allowed ladies from all over the world to connect, and I am so happy that it has allowed me to get to know the Greens! I met Mushky when my husband and I first moved to Baltimore and she expressed so much excitement about covering her hair when getting married (which was happening soon!) She works at our favourite local bookstore, which my husband and I *may* (cough!) have a slight addiction to, so we get to see her a lot!
Mushky wearing The Cranberry in purple!
After getting married, we were continuously wow-ed on the Wrapunzel Fangroup by Mushky’s creations… but the thing I love most about her is her infectious enthusiasm for putting together gorgeous, colorful combinations. She just loves tichels!
Recently, a new face has appeared on the fangroup… Mushky’s mom, Zahava! It turns out that one Shabbat, Mushky made her sit down and try on a tichel. It took a little coaxing, but now Mrs. Green is a bona-fide Wrapunzel Wrap Star! Her beautiful eyes and shining countenance are such a special addition to the community. She is soft spoken, elegant, and warm – a true aishet chayil!
Mrs Green, wearing the dreamy lace and shinylicious
Zahava says, “Before, I was always in my sheital or a snood, and I really disliked the way I looked in a snood. I felt like my options were either my sheital which I still wear, or being underdressed in my snoods and pretieds. Now I have another option, and I finally feel like I’ve found ‘me’.”
Shifrah wearing the turquoise Signature and light teal Shimmery
Mushky’s sister-in-law, Shifrah, has been wearing tichels since she’s been married, but for the longest time only wore a simple Israeli tichel with nothing underneath. “Discovering the shaper/volumizer and learning how to layer has changed everything for me.” she says, “I love it!”
It was so much fun taking photos of these lovely ladies. They all have such different styles and so much love for each other. Mushky loves to pump up the volume (she adds extra scarves underneath (WITH the shaper) and wear bold, royal tones. Shifrah looks great in twists and tails in bright colors, and Zahava looks perfect in elegant wear with a little sparkle.
There are eleven kids in the Green family, and that means a lot of in-laws and grandchildren! I am so blessed that I was able to capture these three together! What an incredible mother/daughter bond there is between them – you can just feel it looking at these pictures! Enjoy!
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I’m majorly happy to introduce you to Tamar Adina from Chicago, one of our new FACES OF WRAPUNZEL ladies! She’s a teacher, artist, makeup/face painter/henna creator extraordinaire, mother, and all around super helpful (and hilarious!) She’s going to help us with choosing the right head scarves for our skin tones and learning how to match colors with beauty and ease. Oh, and she just so happens to look gorgeous in tichels, so we’ll hopefully be seeing some modeling from her too! Woohoo!!
Tamar Adina (and her photobombing husband!)
Hello Wrapunzel!
My name is Tamar Adina. Some of you might remember me from a post on Rivka Malka’s blog about henna.
Andrea asked me to talk about when I started covering my hair, how I cover my hair, my sense of color, my sense of style, and some advice that helps someone pick tichels.
No pressure Andrea.
Noooooo pressure.
Riiiiiight.
Anyway, I started covering my hair on August 22, 2007, the day after my marriage.I always knew that I would one day cover my hair and to be honest, throughout high school, I secretly looked forward to covering what I cynically referred to as “my rat’s nest” (not to be confused with “the squirrel”, my best friend’s method of referring to her sheitel.)
To understand my rationale, you need to understand that I was the kid in elementary school pictures that had eight feet of hair standing up in all directions.I used to tell friends that I had styled my hair that morning by sticking my finger into the nearest electric socket.To better explain the problem, imagine Hermione Granger (not the movie version where her hair was barely frizzy, the version that you had in your head before Warner Brother’s made Hermione synonymous with Emma Watson).Now imagine that Hermione’s hair was black and that you were the one that needed to take hours of time to tame that mess into submission.Makes sense now, doesn’t it?
Tamar Adina’s childhood and teenage hair
However, as someone that looked forward to covering her hair, I was surprised to find myself exasperated with the concept.Oh, don’t get me wrong, I loved the thought of not having to make my hair presentable to the public, but the pre-tied tichel that I packed to wear to my new apartment slipped back every .05 seconds.
It turns out that lycra can be an incredibly slippery material.Who knew?
Since I didn’t want ¾ of my head showing, I started trying to find a solution that I was comfortable with wearing.
For my first sheva brachos, I tried to wear a sheitel. To be fair, I didn’t understand the concept that a precut isn’t really cut, I could barely put the darn thing on, and I looked ridiculous.The side swept “bangs” fell into my eyes every two seconds, the combs pulled in all of the wrong places, and I felt like my scalp was overheating.Although there might still be some photos on Facebook, I’m pretty sure that I deleted 99% of them from my sister’s camera.
It wasn’t until 3 years and over $1,000 dollars later that I finally figured out how to wear a sheitel (hint hint, before you worry about a good cut, make sure that your cap fits!)
But in the interim, I kept searching.My sister-in-law brought me a half a dozen rectangular scarves from Israel.Sadly, I had no clue how to tie them.I went through a phase of wearing hats, snoods, pre-tieds, but everything eventually slipped off my head.I had a number of Israeli tichels, but I couldn’t figure out how to tie those properly either.I’d make a low bun in the back of my head, tie a haphazard triangle, pin the living daylights out of it with bobby pins, and every two hours over the course of the day I’d rinse and repeat the process.
So I stuck with either a sheitel, a black snood that I stole from my mother, or a pre-tied.
But none of those options really worked well for me.During undergrad and my multiple various volunteer hours, practicums, and internships I wore a pre-tied.Nobody really said anything to me, but there were times when I felt underdressed.
After graduation when I started to work as a high school teacher, I wore a sheitel, but I found myself exasperated by how dirty it would become from the horrid combination of chalk and expo markers.I wanted to be professional, but I became easily annoyed with hair that required upwards of $25 to clean, that always fell straight over my eyes, and that over time “died” on me.Maybe if I’d have spent more on my sheitels I would have felt differently, but considering that I had become accustomed to eating, $2100 just wasn’t in my budget.
Tamar face painting with some lucky kids
I spent my weekends and summer working as a face painter, makeup artist, and henna artist.While painting, I needed something that a child couldn’t pull off my head and that wouldn’t fall into my eyes while I was working.I settled for pre-tieds, but most of them couldn’t contain my hair, they’d eventually rip, and every once in a while, a child would make a grab for the applique.
But I had no other options.
Until one day I met Andrea.
Andrea and I actually first met on Facebook way before Wrapunzel became an Internet sensation.I posted a picture of a skirt for sale and she called instant dibs on it.For reasons that I still cannot quite understand, that skirt is still in my closet and Andrea still talks to me.
But I digress.
Andrea handed me a velvet headband, advised me to put my bun higher up on my head, and showed me how to tie a rectangular scarf.
It was a light bulb moment.
Suddenly, I could wear the scarves that had formally been collecting dust in a drawer!I’d love to tell you that I suddenly magically figured out how to tie hundreds of different ties and that I felt complete confidence in my tichel tying self…
However that would be lying.
It took me about two years to really become comfortable playing with different fabrics, colors, and textures— and I’m an artist!But, I walked into my grad school internship with a tichel on my head and the conviction that my wrap wouldn’t detract from my abilities to be seen as a competent professional. Although at first I sometimes questioned my decision on Facebook, I learned to tie on a tichel and then walk into multiple job fairs, interviews, and finally, this year, I walked into a classroom of 21 high school juniors…and my hair was wrapped.
And while I still look at the scarves that Andrea, Rivka Malka, Chagit, and some of the other fantastic Wrapunzel ladies wear and say “yeah…I can’t do that without a tichel tantrum”…
I’m okay with that.
Because I have learned a number of tricks that really help me out.As a makeup artist and a painter, I play with color schemes…a lot.And hopefully some of my issues can help you.
The same tie with different scarves
1) My first tip doesn’t actually have anything to do with color.Instead, it’s to find one tie that you like, and learn to do it well.Even after two years of doing hair wrapping, I tend to wear the same three (yep, 3!) ties. That doesn’t mean that I constantly wear the same thing! I vary the scarf color, texture, accessories, etc.But these photos are all the same tie.
2) I find that I personally cannot wear a long tail.By that same token, I cannot wear a long braided tail, a double tail, or even the newly popular Shira tails.I find that long tails wind up in my face paints – and that’s not ok.I used to primarily wear square scarves with a twist, but pashminas and other rectangular patterned scarves looked like too fun to exclude from my wardrobe and so last year I started wearing rectangular scarves more.I tend to wear a maximum of a shoulder length tail on one side of my face.
3) Wrapping highlights your face.So, I personally find that when I fix my eyebrows and put on some concealer to hide the bags under my eyes, I help focus on my better features (my eyes!).But, if I’m completely out of time, I put on a pair of earrings – they serve as a focal point and can help draw someone’s eye away from the fact that I graded twenty-one final term papers the night before.
4) My next tip goes back to color.Grab a color wheel, and use it to create analogous and split-complementary color schemes! Many people have heard of analogous color schemes.They involve colors that are next to each other on the color wheel.They usually match well and create serene and comfortable designs.Most people have heard of complementary color schemes, when two colors are opposite each other (like red/green).But these can actually be harsh and quite difficult to pull together properly.Instead, aim for a split-complementary color scheme.This uses a base color and then the two colors that are adjacent to its complement.This gives a strong visual contrast, but it has less tension, and it’s fairly goof proof.
5) Next, color behaves in relation to other colors. Basically, the relationship of warmth or coolness of respective hues can cause noticeable differences in the perception of color.This can mean that a tichel kit that looked harmonious on the model looks horrifying on you.What color is making the amazing tichel look horrid? Why…your skin color of course! The exact specifics of this can be a little lengthy, but basically there are two basic skin tones – cool and warm. You can determine which category you fall into by investigating the color of the veins on the underside of your arm.If the veins show through blue, you’ve got blue or white undertones, meaning that you have a cool skin tone. Those with green veins have yellow undertones and are therefore warm.
If you can’t tell what color your veins are, grab two pieces of jewelry: one gold and one silver.Hold them up against your skin.Depending on which one stands out, you can determine your skin tone.Gold means warm, and silver means cool.
Still confused? Grab a piece of yellow fabric and place it next to your face.A warm-tone will have a bright complexion, minimal shadows, and an overall healthy look.A cool-toned person will look like she has had the stomach flu for the last ten hours.If this horrible transformation has happened to you, attempt a blue fabric next.If it gives you the same healthy glow that I promised the warm-toned folks with the yellow fabric, then you are cool toned.
Great…so what do you do with that information?Well…now you make tichel combinations!
Warm skin tones look for colors on the “warm” side of the color wheel like red, orange, yellow, brown, and pink.
Cool skin tones look best in richer colors and those on the “cool” side of the color wheel, like blue, purple, and green.
The shade of a color affects where it falls on the warm-cool spectrum.For example, purple with more blue or gray undertones works well for cool colored skin.But, if the scarf has pronounced red or magenta undertones it is better suited for a warmer toned person.
6) Lastly, find a time to try out new designs when you are NOT rushed.Although we already all tend to ask for help with special occasion wraps, it’s the tichel tantrums that occur on a random morning that can make you want to give up wrapping permanently.I find that for me, tichel tantrums come from trying something new.I personally know that it’s not a good idea for me to come up with new scarf combinations in the morning before work.When I am getting ready for work I typically have 15-20 minutes to go from stepping out of the shower to out the door.So, I grab combinations that I’ve tried at least two times before.I tend to play with new tichel ideas on Shabbos afternoon or later in the evening.
I hope these tips are helpful!I’m really looking forward to expanding on some of these ideas and having intricate discussions about earrings (love them!), clip on flowers (not my style), color combos (that include options for all skin tones), makeup (yeah, as a makeup artist, that’s one of my favorite topics!) and how to look professional in a tichel.
I can’t wait to catch up with ya’ll!
-Tamar Adina
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We’re so excited about starting to introduce you to THE FACES OF WRAPUNZEL! Read more about it on our facebook page!
We’re waiting to get the photos from today’s shoot (which is just the beginning!) edited and sorted, but here are some teasers for now! We can’t wait to show you the real ones!
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Chagit is truly a wrap star in every single way! She is bold, fun, and never afraid to try something new! Every time I come across a photo of her, my first reaction is “Wow!” And then my second reaction is, “How did she do that?!” Here she is, sharing her heart and mind, and teaching us some of her essential tips and tricks! I know you’ll love her as much as I do! (Make sure you click on her photos to get the full impact of amazingness!)
Hi Chagit! Can you tell us a little about yourself; how you spend your time, where you live, family, interesting hobbies etc.?
Hi sweetie and Hello to all those beautiful ladies out there. So before I start I just wanna say that Im super honored that you like my wrapping style. I just couldnt start without first saying, “Thanks”.
Hi again, my name is Chagit Rivera. I was born in Puerto Rico. Grew up in South Florida and now live in Israel with my beautiful family. I’ve been blessed with an awesome husband and seven beautiful kids B’H.
I consider myself to be a busy bee. I’m a stay at home mom and keep myself very busy tending to my house and family. The things that bring me pleasure are cooking shows, decorating, shopping, ice coffee, movie nights with my two older kids, pizza making night with the family, going to the city with my hubby, women’s classes/hanging out with my girlfriends and a clean house. Oh, and I absoluty LOVE wrapping! I LOVE talking about wrapping. I LOVE seeing all the beautiful wraps all around me.
Why do you cover your hair?
I cover for religious reasons.
How long have you been covering your hair? How did you feel about it when you first started?
I’ve been covering for a long long time. I first started covering with hats and that was kinda easy cause I loved hats then I moved to wraps/tichels. I was kinda sad when I had to cover my hair. To me my hair was my beauty. Everyone loved my hair. I always got tons of compliments about my hair. Silly me.
How do you feel about it now?
Thank G-d I was wrong about the whole need to show my hair thing. I love to wrap. I feel like a queen. I feel beautiful, sexy, unique and still a part of something holy, something undescribable.
What inspires your head coverings? Have you always been this creative?
I get inspiration from things around me. From different people. From different colors, from different patterns and textures. Inspiration is EVERYWHERE! I have always been a creative person and this helps me with my wraps. As a matter of fact, you, Andrea are responsible for giving me that extra inspiration. Seeing you do what you do allowed me to try new things and explore this beautiful mitzva. I am forever grateful. Thanks babe.
What colour/pattern advice do you have for other wrappers out there?
Everyone of us is different. We have different backgrounds, different skin tones, different styles. I’ll tell you what I do. I love to use all shades of greens, blues, purple, grays and browns. I love to throw in some polka dots, stripes, animal prints and floral prints. I use the colors that talk to ME and make me feel yummy inside. Cause at the end of the day it brings a smile to my face and others will feel my vibe.
Any tips/tricks/secrets you can share with us?
#1 Trick – My all-time favorite trick is called “HEADBANDS”. Yes, you heard me correctly. I love using headbands. It adds so much to my wrap without adding tons of extra material. People never know its a headband until I tell them and trust me it looks awesome. Its like magic.
#1 Tip – Its just two words. TUCK and PAT. Again, Tuck and Pat. Thats all to it. The results are incredible.
#1 Secret – Well I guess its not a secret anymore. I’m gonna have to say besides my “headbands”, its the fact that I double poof. Yea, sounds crazy but I love it. And since I pin my accessories to my wraps to give it that nice clean look it doesnt hurt.
What are some of the most important hair covering lessons you’ve learned over the years?
Lesson number one: You have to LOVE your wrap.
Lesson number two: velvet handband.
Lesson number three: Simple is also beautiful.
Lesson number four: You have a whole lifetime to get this wrapping thing right. Don’t try things at are gonna overwhelm you. This is a beautiful mitzva. Remember, its beauty and everything else will come together sooner or later.
An inspiring (or funny) hair covering moment that stands out in your mind?
I have inspiring and sometimes funny moments everytime I go in the city. I have NO problem stopping someone and letting her know how beautiful I think her headcovering is and how absolutely incredible she looks. I ask them how they wrapped it, and even where they bought a certain scarf. There is no shame to this wrapping journey I’m on. Oh, and by the way, I don’t speak hebrew so it can get pretty funny cause I find myself talking with my hands more than usual.
What does you hair covering say about your soul?
It tells me that I am a queen. That I am part of a holy plan. That I am not alone. I AM BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE I AM A WOMAN.
Any inspiring words for the ladies on the Wrapunzel blog?
Don’t be afraid to show a little bit of your personality in your wraps. You are all amazing beautiful women.
What are you grateful for right now?
I’m grateful for alot of things. But at this very moment I am grateful to be alive, to have the ability to see G-d’s beauty, to feel a loving hug and to touch my kids’ soft faces – completly humbled by G-d’s everlasting love.
*~*
Thank you so much Chagit for your inspiring words and beautiful photos! Aint she a doll? Oh, guess what ladies!?? She’s started making tutorials! Check these out!
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Meet Ariella! When we first met, I was like, “There’s another blonde, funky, frum (Torah observant), classical musician string player in the world?! Yay!” She seriously rocks my socks off! Here are some gorgeous, fun photos of her, and an interview! You’ll love hearing what she has to say!
Hi Ariella, can you tell us a bit about yourself, how you spend your time, what you love to do, where you live, etc.? Hey there everyone, I’m Ariella Zeitlin-Hoffman, a violinist from Israel. I grew up in Baltimore, and made aliyah to Israel when I was 18 (on my birthday) spent a year learning Hebrew, and then went into the Jerusalem Academy of Music and Dance where I met Andrea and her husband Yonatan. Music is a huge part of my life-My parents are kind of the hippie rock stars of the community we lived in, and their Simchat Beit HaShoeva was the place to be for years and years-Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach used to pop in yearly, but I don’t remember him so I don’t have any great stories except there was one year that the whole sukka fell over and I remember a feeling of panic because they were expecting a hundred or so people. My grandfather, Zvi Zeitlin was considered by the NY Times to be the Methuselah of violin players-making a full recital on his 90th birthday! Today I play one of his violins and use a bow which was made exclusively for him by a jeweler named Henry Kasten. So I always had those two important influences in my life-the classical and the folk, and as a musician I’m really connected to both genres, which has made me very in demand (thank G-D!) as a studio player because I keep it in both worlds with note reading, improvising, and playing by ear. Time, time! I’m still at home with our baby, and summer vacation is just finished now so I’ve been spending an awful lot of time with the family-when it’s regular time, which is starting now, I really spend all of my time either playing violin, teaching, spending time with my family, or dealing with the house type of stuff that nobody wants to do (except those crazy Pinterest moms who I aspire to be like). I’m also a super nerdy crafter (seem like the type, eh?) and love to crochet, sew, bake, and upcycle furniture-I love painting and sanding and getting my hands dirty. My husband makes beer so he’s also crafty like that. In terms of work, I teach and I do a lot of freelance work-concerts, bar shows, studio sessions, etc. So I’m really busy! And even when I’m not busy with work, there’s always something else to do. We live today in Herzliya, where my husband works as the Rabbi for Jeff Seidel’s student center, so we have programs of different kinds almost every night of the week in our house. Sometimes I’m there, sometimes not-depends on how worn out I am. I also have the attitude that when I’m at home I’m all at home-I try to keep my mind off of other projects so when I’m at home, and I really try to keep my phone far away until our kids are asleep. With my big daughter in Pre-K, our baby boy is mainly with me except when I have work. Sometimes think about getting a real job and putting him in daycare, but I love being a mom, and he’s an easy kid so I get a lot done.
Do you have a favourite composition? Or a few favourites? Why? So a few months ago, I had a series of concerts where I performed the Mendellsohn Violin Concerto with an all-women’s orchestra from Jerusalem with concerts all over the country. There were 5 concerts in total, and there are some plans to resume the tour in the fall, but nothings set in stone yet. They’re making sure I’m still practicing!! Anyways, back to Mendellsohn. I mean he was just brilliant and stunning in his writing. Gorgeous music. The concerto is also unique because the way it is written is kind of like an exchange between the orchestra and the soloist, and I love how the theme starts in the violin at the beginning instead of the opposite, which is more standard, setting the scene for the drama of the orchestra to come in. Ahh…Mendellsohn. Also the 3rd movement is a lot of fun. Another favorite piece is the Khachaturian Violin Concerto, which is a rich and intense musical drama-Khachaturian was an Armenian and the journey of the Armenians and the Jews has many parallels in the past century. In fact, my great grandparents were jailed in Russia because of Zionist activity, and they were put in front of an Armenian judge for trial, who empathized with their desire for a homeland and instead of sending them to Siberia as punishment, actually sent them to Palestine in 1927. And, and, and…well what I think is so great about loving music is that you’re really familiar with different types of music so you know what you want to hear at different times. There are very few genres that I dislike. I’ve experimented in everything, and love all kinds of music. I love show pieces-pieces written for the violin which classical performers call ‘fluff’-written to impress but not really deep. I play a lot of those in certain types of venues. I love singing, also and am currently working on a few singles of my original songs. I love 50’s rock and roll, I love any band with positive vibes and messages, I love dubstep and trance and folk and rock and fiddle music and country and middle eastern Arabic and am practicing my beatboxing!
How did you feel about hair covering before getting married? So I’d always been back and forth about my feelings about covering. On the one hand, I grew up in a community of coverers. There was only one woman who wore a beautiful tichel on a regular basis, Rivka Malka Perlman, but she was also so gorgeous and striking that whatever she wore on her head would have looked amazing (you all know what I’m talking about). Then I moved to Israel, went to Seminary, started seeing people in tichels, and then I went into University. And that was the first time I heard of this concept of head covering being oppressive to women-to me it was always just something people did, and I never asked too many questions. But all of my opinions were constantly being challenged by the people around me and I really started to question every single thing I had always taken for granted as true and normal. Was hair covering really oppressive? I started looking around and kind of left that particular issue aside-there were so many other issues to deal with and figure out where I stood on them that I hadn’t really thought of before. Then my journey brought me to my husband, and we spent a year and a half figuring out together what Judaism meant to both of us and who we wanted to be-and kind of discovered accidentally that we had fallen in love! So we ended up in the whole whirlwind of everything and the headcovering thing? I still hadn’t really given it a thought. Then when I got engaged, we went to the States and my mother bought me two wigs-a full one and a headband one. And I just kind of went with everything-actually my awesome husband came sheitel shopping with me! Not really done by anyone else, but the concept was so weird for me, that I felt like I needed him along for support, and it was a lot of fun, although I could tell that Tsfat had worn off on him and he wasn’t super into it. It was always taken for granted (for me) that I would cover my hair and I never gave it much thought. I bought a lot of fun wigs from the stores catering to black women that clipped on and I really had fun with the whole thing-but still hadn’t settled on what was me. I think the most important thing for anyone starting out and wanting to cover, is that don’t ever be totally set on what you’re going to wear-and don’t buy a lot of anything until you know what fits your personal style!!
How do you feel about it now and how has the journey been for you? So after I got married, I covered fully, but I really started hating covering. It felt uncomfortable, I felt like I stuck out-I wore a half wig with a hat or scarf to University so nobody would know I was covering fully, and then when someone would come near my head for any reason I would jump out of my skin because I REALLY didn’t want anyone to know I was wearing a wig (and whats the point if you’re trying so hard to make sure nobody knows?) So after a while I forewent the wigs. I almost never wear a wig now except for rock shows where I wear a wig that’s as big as rhode island but that’s for fun, not for modesty purposes. And I started doing what they call the ‘half cover’ where I wear a head covering both as a symbol of being married, as well as covering my head as opposed to all my hair, which is another opinion within the spectrum of Jewish law and which, for now, makes me feel the most myself. It also puts people more at ease in a professional setting, because they think I’m ‘cool’ which I just think is a little nutty, but people judge on appearances. I also do a lot of work in ultra-orthodox places, and I really change the way I look from place to place that I go, depending on the requests of the demographic.
What is your personal favourite way of covering your hair? My favorite way of covering is with a long scarf tied on my head with hair showing in the front and the back. It’s a look that makes me feel super bohemian princess. And I love accessorizing with glittery things! Hair clips, pins, sparkly headbands, and sparkly scarves, of course. I love drawing attention to the fact that I’m covering. Wearing scarves makes me feel like such an example of the beautiful parts of our traditions, especially when people see my fun ties and colorful accessories (probably sounds familiar to most of you on the blog!!)
Tips and tricks that you can share with us? – A couple of months ago, my husband and I did a home improvement project where we bought a broom stick, and chopped it into two pieces-one long and one short. We put them both on the walls with hooks and connected to chains and I now keep all my scarves there-they look so beautiful and it gives me such a wonderful feeling to walk into my room. Also lets me see all my scarves-long scarves on one, headbands on the other. Being able to see everything makes it so much easier to coordinate!
– Don’t buy a lot of anything specific when you’re just starting out. Everyone’s different, you’ll discover styles you love with scarves that you didn’t buy and end up with a hundred of the wrong type, haha!
– Velvet Headbands are amazing-buy at least two! – Those really pretty ones? The more expensive ones? I decided that I wanted to make my own last summer. But I’m the type that never does just one project. So I made 8. They take a LONG time. And they come out wonky if you’re not an excellent sewer. And they cost money for all the materials. The people who are good at making them really deserve what they’re charging. Obviously there’s a lot of value in doing projects for the sake of doing projects but if you look at something and think ‘I could do that myself’ I’d say if you’re pressed for time, or are not naturally meticulous, it’s really ok to invest in something beautiful and that they’re probably not overcharging. So treat yourself every once in a while!
– The confidence you have in whatever you do is way more important than what you’re wearing. In all matters. But be proud of the choices that you make, and always check in with yourself that you really feel good about what you are doing. Obviously there are reasons that people do things besides feeling good, but if you do anything specific, you have reasons that you do them. Make sure that your actions are consistent with your beliefs
Can you share a memorable hair covering moment? A few days after my wedding, when I was still figuring out the scarf thing and it was insanely hot I wore a thin slippery one, which, come to think of it I don’t think I’ve seen in years now but I liked. And if course it fell off in the bank. I unfortunately have had several situations where I was trying to juggle 4000 things and when the scarf came off, I looked around and everyone was kind of waiting for me to freak out-but these things happen, and what can you do. So I’ve just played it cool and I think people were disappointed! But that’s a memorable un-covering hair moment. A memorable hair covering moment would probably be the first time I played in a big show for a Dati-Leumi audience and I layered so many scarves my head almost fell off. But I really wanted that statement look! I try, whatever I am doing, to make the scarves a really important part of my look-because I think looking funky in scarves is an important statement and an important part of my identity.
What are you grateful for right now? I’m grateful for so many things! I often stop and count my blessings and I make grateful lists all the time-I’ve found that for me, gratitude is the thing that makes me feel most happy and satisfied. I also am a huge subscriber to dream charting-where you think about what you want to accomplish, and spend time every day thinking about how to get there, and some of that time appreciating the steps you’ve taken thus far. I have found that, although many people say that it’s hard to have a successful career In addition to being married and having children, that I’m probably much more successful than I might be if I weren’t married to my husband, who keeps me grounded and helps me to achieve success all the time. So he’s number one on grateful! I’m grateful to have a good life, a wonderful, healthy extended family, no debt (finally paid off all my student loans!!!), a successful career in something I truly love, good friends, and lots of dreams!
What do you want to bless the readers of Wrapunzel with for the coming Jewish Year? Judaism is all about starting fresh. Renewal, prayer, repentance, charity, and as we come to the new year, I want to bless you all that every bad moment and memory that is weighing you down will become a stone in the path that you realize that it has helped you to get where you are, and that you can take those moments and accept them, and really look at them with a fresh eye to see how they have brought you to where you are today, accept them, and then leave them be. A lot of people carry around the baggage of old relationships, or of bad situations of any kind. Stop. You are a new person from this very moment. You control your destiny. You are wonderful and talented and brilliant and special. For me, from a young age I had this *one thing* that was my gift. I was fat, I didn’t have many friends, but I was musical-and I felt chained to that description of me, like there was no other thing that I was. At a certain point I sunk into a low point of depression over that thought, but at a later point I realized we really are all a beautiful bouquet of wonderful gifts, and as I got older and was able to recognize my own gifts, I was able to appreciate and love others for their contributions to the world. When you realize that you are wonderful because you have a beautiful soul and you try to bring more joy, light, warmth, and kindness into the world, there is no greater feeling than to recognize that in others. So I bless you all that you can leave your baggage behind in order to bask in the light of the coming redemption!
Having an online hair wrapping blog means that I get the honour of meeting the coolest, wonderful-est people! Mirjam and I have been in touch for a while through email… she is a Jewish violinist from France… and yesterday she send me the most gorgeous and happy photo that I just had to share with all of you!
She’s wearing the Candy Swirls kit (with an added purple Shimmery – genius!) while playing her beautiful violin! There is so much kedusha (holiness) in this photo and I hope it moves you as much as it moved me.
Here is a picture of Mirjam without her violin but looking all the kiddush Hashem that she is:
Thank Gd for the miracles of email and online-ness for helping us meet so many special souls! Remember to keep making music with everything that you do ❤
Love, Andrea
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A beautiful photo of Chaya being awesome, before we met!
You may recognize Chaya from this video, which has spread around the hair covering world like wild fire! Before I came to Jerusalem, Rivka Malka contacted her and we all agreed that we had to meet and connect, as well as get Chaya Wrapunzeled! Little did I know, that the Shalev Center, where Chaya lives, is less than a two minute walk from where we’re staying!
We started off with some Wrapunzel makeovers, both with my wrapping Chaya, and her wrapping herself while asking questions! We figured that would be super helpful to everyone here… like having a coach in your own room! We ended off with an interview, and I must say, if you watch one video out of all of these, watch this one! But really, watch them all – she is so awesome and I’m super happy that you get to meet her!
We first started with a sari scarf and shimmery together:
And then Chaya wanted to try doing it herself! Awesome!
And now… the quick and easy Waterfall twist! 3 minute video, and it shows both my doing it on her and her doing it herself! Win!
Finally, here we are doing an interview. Seriously deep insights into hair covering and what it means to be a female! She is just so cool – I hope you’ll learn as much from this as I did!
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I’m very happy to introduce you to Melanie! I met her on facebook about a year back. She is inspiring in both her enthusiasm for tichels and helping others… really, just all aspects of life! Her upbeat posts and support of everyone is infectious! Oh, and let’s not even begin to talk about her incredible wrapping skills – I’ll let you see for yourselves! I know she’ll make you smile ear to ear!
Hi Melanie! Can you tell us a bit about yourself! How you grew up, what you enjoy doing, how you spend your time, etc.? I was adopted out of foster care at a young age. I grew up a military child, moving around a lot. I really enjoy my children, reading, and creating things. I have 4 children. 3 boys and an angel little girl we adopted. We are foster parents and LOVE living the life of all things child related. We homeschool and spend lots of time together as a family. I love it!
What led to your covering your hair with tichels? Oh my so many things attributed to me covering my hair…the beauty of it drew me in like flames in a fire. It has been a journey of discovering who I really am. I feel like I am hiding a piece of me that I used to let define me (as a former hairdresser) and saving it for my husband. When I do this I feel like I am showing others the true “me” not just what I wanted them to see which was for me, mostly about my looks and hair. I want to be modest and for me, that includes covering my hair and saving it for my sweet man!
How has your life changed since starting to cover?Many things have changed since I started covering. Most for the better, but let’s be real – sticking out like a (beautifully covered) sore thumb in an uncovered community has its moments, some encouraging and some just down right hard. In the hard moments I hold my Tichel up high and remember I am a Queen and I do this for the love and respect of others whether they know it, or understand it. So I’d say it has made me more humble.
How did people around you react? They are still reacting. At first it was like an elephant in the room, sometimes that elephant is still there. When I feel it there I picture myself wrapping a beautiful Tichel on it… Then I start mentally wrapping up other women’s heads. That normally helps! Haha! Most are curious why I do, some want to argue about why they think I do, and some surprise me and start covering their own beautiful little heads! I tend to be flooded with compliments by complete strangers. Some women have started covering and will send me pictures of them all wrapped in beauti-mus-ness! I love that SO much! Overall I would say it has been taken very well by others 🙂
What do you love most about tichel tying?Everyday is a new day and a new Tichel! I am excited every night to wake up and put on a new/different Tichel the next day! I love how different ways of tying & colors and textures bring out different features of my face and my style.
PLEASE share with us your tips and tricks!!When I started buying scarves I was all over the place, anything that caught my eye I bought it. Now, I have a method to it. I like to buy lots of plain colored scarves to use as a base, I will watch for sales and stock up. So when I see different textures, odd sized pieces or wild colors I know I am bound to have a “base” that will match it. I also buy a lot of solid color clothing, that way I can be a little more wild & free when buying my Tichels and don’t have to worry about having something to match them.
What is your favourite tichel? Impossible question! Haha! Israeli Tichels are my favorite “type” though.
What recommendations would you make to someone who is just starting to learn how to tie?Watch videos of others tying, master one look you really like…and just keep trying! 😉 AND a velvet band is a MUST!
Can you tell me any interesting stories about the women you’ve met during your covering journey?A funny flattering story…I was in the grocery store with the kids, we turned onto the drink aisle and a container of juice had spilled all over the floor. I sent my oldest to go get a sales clerk and while he was gone a woman came down the other end of the aisle. She just kept staring at me. I was thinking she had seen the juice but she just kept walking straight for it, staring at me. Eventually she got so close and was about to walk right into the lake of grape juice all over the aisle so I lunged forward and said “stop!”. She was utterly shocked and snapped out of her fix on me, I said “ma’am there is juice on the floor be careful” she said…”I cannot stop staring at how beautiful your wrap, (is that what you call it?) is on your head….you are a breath of fresh air, and I cannot get enough! You are so modest AND beautiful! I don’t see this everyday!” It made me smile for a month! I promise! Haha!
I also had a case worker for one of my babies, who covers her hair and knows the lovely Zarinah El-Amin Naeem! We were so excited for the pictures from the last head wrap expo and wanted to come so bad! She would bring pictures and calendars of beautiful wraps when she would come over and we got to connect through our wraps. The first time she came to my house we both just stopped and stared at each other. It was funny and we laughed about it later. We were both so shocked to meet and have that in common!
What is your favourite colour? Oh my……the rainbow. Haha! I love all colors! I think purple and teal are my two “favorites” but it’s hard to say for sure! I love all colors!
What are you grateful for right now?The amazing, encouraging, sisterhood of women that cover as well!
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Our lady wrap star, Heather (yes, our second last lady wrap star is also Heather – I couldn’t plan this sort of thing if I tried!) has been part of the Wrapunzel community since… well.. since before it was the Wrapunzel community! Over the years I’ve caught bits and pieces of her story and about whom she is. She always came off as such a warm, stable, articulate and just, well… such a cool person that I really wanted to know! She is all kinds of awesome and I’m so happy to introduce her to you officially! In a word, her story is FASCINATING. A must read. Here’s Heather!
First, I am INCREDIBLY honored to be asked to write for Andrea’s blog. It is definitely a high point for me in my covering journey! It’s been a rather bumpy one, and something that is not seen often where I live, in Southern West Virginia.
You don’t see many women like me in this community and buying from the store: women with beautiful tichels and adornments covering their hair. I’ve not had any rude comments as of this writing, but I HAVE had many compliments. My family is a mixed bag of support and reluctance. My husband is supportive of me covering (now), my father hasn’t said anything for or against it. My mother, though, is okay with it, so long as I don’t wear it in places that it would be seen as unusual. She asked me if I was going to “wear that thing” to a job interview. I told her that I was, that it was my head and if they had an issue with that, then I wouldn’t want to work there in the first place. I have many cousins who love my tichels, and have expressed interest in purchasing and wearing their own (and I have offered my time to help them as soon as they want me to!) I see a few ladies covering their hair; it’s rare, but I have seen them. They wear the hijab, and it’s lovely, and I think quite brave of them, in all honesty. I always brace myself for a nasty comment when I leave my house, and while I HAVE gotten strange looks, I have yet to hear a snide remark. Good thing, too. I’m not as apt to take it as I was when I was younger.
As for religion, I’m not Jewish. I’m not Christian or Muslim either. I’m a very secular lady who has no religious reason at this time to cover. I did have one at one point, but I have done a lot of soul searching and found that religion is just not something that I feel is necessary in my life right now. It took a long time for me to admit, even to myself, that I fall into the agnostic atheist category, but I’m there, and I feel perfectly happy (though I do wish I had a local community to be a part of sometimes). I won’t reveal what religious beliefs I had after I left Christianity (I don’t want certain people to see this and decide they wouldn’t want to be part of my life anymore), but I will explain my coming to my current position as best I can.
Photo collage by Heather’s husband, Heath! He is a graphic artist and does awesome work!
So, where to begin the story of how I came to covering my hair? Well, I’ve heard that it’s best to start at the beginning, so here goes:
I have always had a love/hate relationship with my hair. Ever since I was a child, I would take a lock of my hair and place it between my index and middle fingers and let it slide through. I loved (and still love) the silky, cool feeling of my hair moving between my fingers. A few strands would come out, but nothing major. It drove my parents up the wall, and they would always tell me to stop if they were in the same room with me. I also never could fix my hair properly. I tried so hard, and got so upset every day. It got to the point where I was begging my mother to help me fix my hair – and this was all the way into high school! I was just terrible with my hair. Makeup, I could do that! I rocked out makeup, manicures, etc. I even got asked to do prom makeup for people! But my hair just never did anything I asked it to do. So most of the time, when I was in college, I would just pull it back into a tight bun or a ponytail and let it go at that.
I also love coloring my hair. My natural color is a light reddish brown, but it’s currently dark brown/black (I’m a community theatre actress and I colored it for a role last summer). I have always wanted to wear funky colors in my hair, and I even went so far as to bleach it and color it teal in 2004! I LOVED it. Every morning I would get up and look at my hair, and was just amazed at how gorgeous the color looked. Unfortunately, it was a wash out color, and when it started looking dingy, I colored my hair black. It stayed that color until I moved home from college.
Well, that covers (no pun intended) how I feel about my hair. Now let’s discuss how I came to love covering my hair:
I was raised Christian. I went to church, belonged to Christian school groups, read the Teen Bible, etc. I started seeing a guy who had books about OTHER religions. I had no idea that anything else really existed. We don’t have much religious diversity here (other than different denominations of Christianity). Anyway, I found a book that struck a chord in me and I devoted myself to the religion within its pages. I won’t elaborate on what that religion was, as I am not totally open with a lot of people in my area. (Following a different religion usually gets you harassed here.) During college, I grew apart from practicing ANY religion, mainly due to depression and sadness (I married the guy I was seeing and he became abusive). I left him in 2006, right after I gave birth to a son. After I met the man who would later become my actual husband, I began practicing my religion again, and I did so until recently.
During my reawakening, I began reading about the priestesses of Hestia and Hera, the Greek Goddesses of the hearth and home, and marriage and family, respectively. I have always been fascinated with ancient Greek mythology/theology and in all the research I did, I discovered something: both of those Goddesses wore VEILS! Their Priestesses wore VEILS! They all covered their hair! I was fascinated. I still am! I had never thought about covering my hair aside from doing it to keep it out of my face, but I saw that women used to cover their hair, that they would wear it like a crown. They were the Queens in their homes, in their marriages. That appealed to me greatly, and is a reason why I cover. I am the QUEEN of my life, and these tichels are my crowns! Then I found Andrea’s and Rivka Malka’s YouTube channels. I was absolutely smitten! I started wearing bandannas frequently around the house, doing my chores with a smile on my face. I felt much more connected somehow, and I couldn’t figure out why.
I was on Facebook a lot (as I still am) and a friend and I discovered a group that was for women with similar beliefs to me who covered their hair. I decided to give it a try, both the group AND the covering. The group wasn’t really for me, I found, and at the time, I wasn’t very good at covering. I didn’t have many scarves or veils, and I felt a little silly covering outside of the house because you just didn’t see that sort of thing here where I live. Not to mention that my husband wasn’t too keen on the idea (then anyway).
So, I stopped. For nearly 3 years.
During that three years, I became an agnostic atheist, which is to say that I am unsure if any higher power exists, and while I doubt, I cannot prove or disprove it. I lean towards the belief of no Deity at the moment, though I still believe Nature itself is divine and I celebrate the passing of the seasons, and mark the days with celebrations, even if it’s just a small acknowledgement of it. Because of that, I have no religious reason to cover my hair. None whatsoever.
But I rediscovered my love for it.
One day, out of the blue, I started covering again. It wasn’t something I set out to start doing, but I revisited Andrea’s blog and YouTube channel, and discovered Rivka Malka’s blog and YouTube channel. I went into my room and dug out my scarves and Israeli tichels (as I mentioned above, I didn’t have many at the time) and immediately began covering.
I suppose you could say I heard a call, not with my ears, but with my heart. I don’t believe it was a call from a Deity, personally, but more of my own desire to acknowledge something beautiful within myself. Right before, though, another group that I’m in had a couple of girls who decided to try and cover during domestic duties. They began to ask me about it. That reaffirmed my desire to start covering again. I cover every day, even at home, as it keeps me from sweeping up hair all the time and pulling my hair as well. Plus, it makes me feel gorgeous, and since it sits on my head, it keeps me mindful of things. It reminds me to use my head when I would rather use my heart when reacting to things. I am a very emotional person, and I have issues with anxiety and my tichels and headcovering practice helps me deal with it by giving me something to focus on rather than what is causing my anxiety. It also reminds me that I am a QUEEN – and I mean capital Q-U-E-E-N! I use that term to remind myself that I am in control of myself, my body, my mind, my spirit, my entire being. My tichel is my crown, and now my husband is on board with me covering (as he put it, it’s my head and he would love me no matter what). I love discovering new combinations, new ways to tie. I even made a tie myself, that was inspired by The Girl with the Pearl Earring painting.
I have begun to do tutorials for women who are just starting out, because I can show my hair. I can show from beginning to end how I do it, and give them tips that they may not be able to see anywhere else, because I am able to show my hair as a secular woman with no commandment from a Deity to keep my hair to myself. Of course, I’m not knocking those who DO. It’s just not my particular calling, and if I can help a woman who feels it IS her duty to keep her hair for her husband but doesn’t know where to begin, I will do so. And I will love every minute of it!
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Carmen is a true artist – and her talent for pairing gorgeous colours with the perfect accessories is nothing short of inspirational! She and I have known each other on facebook for a while… yes, she is the one that inspired the pearls post recently! I continuously wowed by her creativity… and her gentle and loving comments always let me know about the depth within her. In the following photos make sure you click on them each individually to appreciate how she puts things together – it’s incredible! I am so proud to introduce her to you as Wrapunzel’s Lady Wrap Star!
By Carmen Mendez, edited by Nadia Kijanka
Helloooo Wrapunzel Ladies,
Let me start by saying that for me, the decision to cover my hair came suddenly and with a conviction that lasted longer than I expected. It started in November of 2013 when my husband showed me a YouTube tutorial and since then I’ve been covering every single day. The journey I’ve made from then until now was nothing immediate or easy. Though I must admit that while I always had a hidden passion for covering, I had no one to personally teach me how to do it, so the few times I did cover were not the best experiences for me.
In the YouTube video, a beautiful young woman was tutoring on how to wrap a scarf. This young woman was so humble and delicate that I was instantly captivated by her beautiful smile. The first video of hers I saw was set to Classical music, one in which she said nothing, but did a step by step demonstration. I was so amazed at how simple she made it look that I ran to my room looked for the few scarves I had collected in a box and started playing with them. I must admit that the first wrap I ever did popped right off! Like a typical beginner, I worried about my wrap staying in place, so I tied it really tight. It kept getting loose and moved around until it finally fell off.
I had no clue that essentials like volumizers and velvet headbands existed until this beautiful girl spoke in another video about tips and tricks. Later on, I find out her name, Andrea, and she has a blog called Wrapunzel. I literally spent two whole days just watching video tutorials on wraps and looking at pictures on her site. Based on her recommendations, I went onto the Judith de Paris website and purchased my first volumizer and velvet headband… I was starting to make a decision that would affect my everyday life from that point on, and I felt like the happiest woman alive!
While waiting for my volumizer and velvet headband, I decided to follow one of the recommendations on a Wrapunzel tutorial—I got one of my husband’s sock, rolled it, and placed it on my bun to create more volume. Then, I selected a really thin and comfy scarf and wrapped it on my head as a base, stuffing the ends inside the back for a little extra bulk. I then proceeded to place another scarf on top of the “base,” accessorized it, and walla…my first real wrap!
I went to work that day, and that’s when it all began. The first few days were pretty quiet and went by with very few comments, if any. Then, as weeks started to go by, eyebrows were raised and questions began to flow. Being the only person that covers in my place of work, some of my co-workers began to inquire why I was doing it everyday. Co-workers in my immediate circle know why I cover since most of them are Jewish, but others from different departments are still probably asking themselves the question if they’re too shy to just ask me directly.
Sometimes, others can really stumble on their words when they address the subject of my covering, but I have learned that being different can be an empowering side effect of following your heart. Before I covered, I felt bland and mediocre. I felt like I could have blended into the walls when in a crowd. There was nothing on the outside of me that reflected the more colorful, vibrant personality inside that Hashem created me to be. Since I started covering, everything about me has changed. Even my wardrobe has changed. Once that beautiful crown goes on my head, everything takes on a different roll than it did before; I’m different, transformed. I understand that you can’t show your entire self in every venue of your life. At the same time, spending hours of your life in an outfit that doesn’t express the person you really are feels terrible. I can’t even explain this transformation, but after it happens I feel beautiful and free. I am my own person, and I absolutely love the woman I’ve discovered I am through wrapping.
When I leave work at the end of the day, I come home to my beloved husband whom I met in the beautiful island of Puerto Rico where I was born. I have also lived in New Jersey for 32 years and now reside in South Florida, where I have been working in a private school for close to 12 years now. I am the mother of six, with a Brady Bunch-styled family: three of my children and three of my husbands, and the grandmother to 13 beautiful grandchildren. After cooking dinner, I always choose the wardrobe I’m wearing for the next day—a habit I’ve had since I can remember.
I love combining my wraps to the clothes I wear. The best part about this whole scenario is that at work I have students that visit me in the office just to see what color I’m wearing that day. When I wear their favorite color they come to see me more than once just to tell me that I’m wearing their favorite color. I have co-workers and even some parents that compliment my wraps and ask me how I do it or if someone does it for me. One parent even told me that she saw a beautiful scarf and remembered me when she saw it…she bought the scarf hoping she could learn to wrap it so she can wear it one day. I told her I would be more than happy to show her how.
One of the most touching experiences I’ve had since I started covering was that one Sunday afternoon my husband and I went to a flea market. A young Jewish salesman called us over. We didn’t need the product, but my husband decided to help him out with a sale. A conversation between this young man and my husband developed, and I noticed the young man would continue to look at me, not in a disrespectful way, though. All of a sudden he said, “My friend I envy you so. I would like for your wife to meet my wife because I see that your wife is the perfect example of tzniut.”
This is a word that means “modesty” in Hebrew, and I felt honored by his comment. My husband smiled and the young man later explained that his wife doesn’t cover because she feels uncomfortable as no one else she knows covers. I realized how difficult it can be to represent something about yourself that you love for fear of judgment that may or may not even exist. It can be so easy to blend in, to not “rock the boat” or “look for attention,” as critics might say. What we can sometimes forget is that those are sayings used to keep us all the same, keep us from being ourselves.
One of the things I love the most is accessorizing my wraps. I tend to visit thrift stores, department stores and swap shops to look for different accessories for my wraps. One of the accessories I really love are pearls. If I find them in all color and sizes, big or small, you can be sure they will adorn my wrap! I even learned to make pearl necklaces into headbands by taking off the clasps and adding elastic in their place. My collection of hair covering continues to grow and grow, but pearls are always a nice personal touch!
When it comes to tips and tricks for covering, I really have nothing of my own as every tip and trick I do know I’ve learned by watching Wrapunzel tutorials and other women that cover. I do however like the idea of wearing a thin scarf as a base underneath the one that will be exposed (for the extra volume). I wrap the base scarf to make it look neat and round; this way, I know that the top scarf will look neat as well (this is optional as I don’t do this all the time). Accessories can be tricky for me—I have so many that sometimes it’s hard to choose! There are times I’m afraid I may over accessorize, so I observe caution. When in doubt, a simple string of pearls goes a long way in my experience.
From covering my own hair, I’ve learned that a woman that covers herself, whether for religious, health or personal reasons, will always be the center of attention especially in a community that does not use head covering. Positive or negative comments will surely arise, but that is something that can’t be controlled by the barer of the cover. I’ve been fortunate; so far I have received nothing but compliments from those around me. But I must say—the journey can be lonely. In my case, I’m the only one that uses a hair covering in my family, the community in which I live, and my work place (for the time being). The most amazing thing is, through discovering Wrapunzel, I have realized I am not the only woman going through this, not by a long shot! Reading the blogs and posts, seeing the daily/weekly pictures, and learning new wraps have inspired me to start and keep going with this self-expression.
I am overjoyed that my husband love’s my wraps, too, and somehow I get the feeling this is something he planned all along (as it was him who found the Wrapunzel site). I am grateful he sticks up for me and pushes me to be confident in myself and my decisions.
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The first moment I saw Heather’s glowing face when she posted a photo on the Wrapunzel Store facebook page, I was bowled over! Her smile! The infectious love for hair covering! Wow! Who is this woman? A few photos later and it was more than clear that she had to be a Lady Wrap Star on this blog! I was also very curious to hear her story and get to know the woman behind the smile! Well, thankfully she was happy to share with us! Let’s hear it for Heather!
I wasn’t raised frum. I was barely raised with any real Judaism at all. My idea of Orthodoxy was full of misconceptions and stereotypes galore. In my own naiveté, the idea of hair covering brought up images of women shaving off their glorious locks, only to deprive them and their husbands, and made me cringe. When my mother, a”h, learned I was becoming frum, she initially cried thinking that I would also do this. I assured her that this wasn’t the case.
When I got engaged, I struggled with the idea of covering my hair. My hair was my most prized physical possession. It was long and red, and k”h, pretty amazing. So what changed my mind?
I was teaching at NYU at the time and living on the Upper West Side. While I was waiting on the subway platform, someone came up behind me, and raked his fingers through my hair, from the nape of my neck to the ends and then just walked away. I never saw his face. Of all the parts of me to be groped on the subway (and as New York women know, unfortunately that happens) he chose my hair. I immediately called my husband (then fiancé) and told him what happened, and we both decided that Hashem had just sent us a message.
That doesn’t mean that it was easy for me. I started with berets (it was the 90s, and that was the cool thing) and moved on to hats of all sorts. When I started teaching at the Yeshiva of North Jersey, I chose a sheitl because that seemed to be the thing to do. My main problem was that I would have to cut my hair to fit under the wig, and every time I did it made me sad. Wrapping allows me to keep my hair as long as I (and my husband) likes.
One of the reasons that I became frum was that I craved a connection to the past. I tried to connect to the generations before me, all of whom lived a life of Torah and mitzvot. When I came across the Wrapunzel website, the first thought was that the Imhaot did not wear hats and they certainly did not wear sheitls; they wrapped their long beautiful hair. I could imagine them wrapping, and showing nothing but their beautiful shining faces, and I wanted to emulate that.
Truth be told, my husband was not initially a big fan, as he loves my hair, and for him, a sheitl is as close as you can get in public. But what I told him was this: The hair is for us, but the cover is mine. He couldn’t argue with that.
I spent (spend) many hours watching Andrea’s and Rivkah Malka’s tutorial videos, and they are beautiful. They are always smiling and glowing, and there is no way that radiance shows with the distraction of a sheitl. To each their own of course, and there are some beautiful sheitls out there, but there is nothing like a wrap to show the true beauty of an Aishes Chayil.
Heather Okoskin Benjamin
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I almost can’t find the words to introduce this woman… she is just so full of light and love! What an inspiration!
Hello Wrapunzel Ladies!
My name is Yael, and I am originally from Chicago. My husband Effie and I live in Atlanta where we are involved in an incredible Jewish community and synagogue, The Kehilla (http://thekehilla.org/). My husband and I met there, and it is just a beautiful and supportive group of people from all walks of life committed to Judaism. Professionally, I am a Director of Teaching and Learning for Teach For America in Metro Atlanta, and I absolutely love my job! When I first joined Teach For America back in 2008, I taught third grade in Miami. I am very passionate about and devoted to working towards educational equity in this country. Through my current role with Teach For America I plan professional development for our elementary teachers and support them in the classroom. I also design many of our large events and some of our diversity and inclusiveness programming. I work in a variety of settings, such as the Teach For America office, coffee shops, and public schools spanning four districts. No matter where my job takes me, I go with a smile and a hair covering.
Covering my hair in many contexts has allowed me to explore and share a totally new part of my Jewish identity with teachers and co-workers. This has been the springboard for deeper conversations with colleagues about my Jewish identity and its relationship to the social justice work that we do. When I wrap my hair I feel elegant, beautiful, creative, and proud. It becomes a medium for me to express who I am. Wrapping gives me a sense of connection to Jewish women throughout history. My tichel is my crown and, in a way, my wedding ring. It signifies my commitment to building a Jewish home. Further, it serves as a way to outwardly show my Judaism and demonstrate the beauty in our Jewish culture.
I have been covering to some extent since I got married just over a year ago in November 2012. Before I got married, I was not quite sure how I was going to cover my hair and if I was going to cover my hair full time. The day after our wedding I decided to try it out by wearing a hat. That night for sheva brachos, I wore a scarf. I decided after that day that I could do this! I wore mainly hats and some scarves covering my head for the first couple of months. Over time, I transitioned to pretty much covering all of my hair with scarves. And I do have fun mixing it up! I have a fabulous collection of scarves and hats (and of course accessories like headbands!). I also have worn a sheitel a couple of times, but wrapping is my absolute favorite way of covering. When I wrap my hair, I feel like the best version of myself.
My twin sister Ilana is one of my wrapping role models. She has been covering her hair since she got married in 2010. Being a twin is AWESOME because you share everything, and now we get to share tichels and hair wrapping techniques. We live in different cities, but when we visit each other we always do a mini tichel swap. We also regularly send pictures to one another to share our daily looks. Having a twin along for this hair covering ride has been special for both of us.
My friends and family have been incredibly supportive of my decision to cover my hair. Before getting married, my friends in Atlanta threw me a meaningful tichel party with demonstrations and beautiful divrei torah about the significance of hair covering. A couple of weeks later in Chicago, my friends and family also threw me a tichel party. At this party, everyone, Jewish and non-Jewish, those who cover their hair and those who do not, all tried on hats and tichels with me. Insignificant as this might seem, the participation of my friends and family in this way affirmed their support and gave me the strength that would eventually allow me to cover my hair the way I do today.
Wow! Check out Yael’s rockin’ tichels! This girl can wrap!
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Hi Wrapunzelers! I’m happy to introduce you to Rebecca, a woman who proudly wears her tichels in the workplace and writes about her experiences! Here is what she has to say to us Wrapunzel ladies about herself… let’s give her a warm welcome!
Hi everyone!
I’m Rebecca, and I’ve been covering my hair since I got married about for about four and a half months ago. When I was engaged, I put a lot of time and effort into researching how and why I was going to cover my hair. I wanted the mitzvah to be meaningful and something I connected with. I really enjoyed reading the book Hide and Seek: Jewish Women and Hair Covering by Lynne Schreiber. I recommend this book to anyone who is considering covering their hair for Jewish reasons. While I was engaged, I took a trip to a sheitel store and tried on a few wigs, but I just didn’t connect to the wig. So hats, scarves, and tichels it was!
I have a lot of fun covering my hair and matching my coverings to my outfits. And my collection of hair coverings keeps growing! As times goes on, I’m getting better at adding accessories, like hair pins and earrings. I’m still working on getting more of the elaborate tichels and wraps to stay on my head all day without having to re-adjust!
I work as a school psychologist at a public high school with essentially no Jewish community. I had worked at my job for about two years before I got married and covering my hair. So, when I started covering my hair, it was very obvious. I get a lot of questions, comments, and remarks from co-workers and the students I work with. And the remarks are overwhelmingly positive! I get comments saying how classy I look, and I get into meaningful discussions about the Jewish concept of marriage.
Now that I’ve started covering my hair, most of the people I work with know that I’m Jewish. I look at this as an opportunity to be a Kiddush Hashem; to be a positive example for the Jewish people.
Because all of my friends and family enjoyed the stories I told them about the comments I get about covering my hair and being Jewish at work, I started a blog. It’s called Jew In The School: The Adventures of the Tichel-Wearing School Psychologist. You can follow me on Facebook and read the blog too!
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Our newest Lady Wrap Star is a wizardess with scarves, deep, talented, brave, and genuine. You may remember her face from the zig-zag criss-cross post:
This is Naomi. When this photo was taken she wasn’t yet covering her hair publicly.
Additionally, she also happens to be a very special friend, and most recently she became my sister! Yes, less than two weeks ago, my brother married this beautiful woman! My husband and I were lucky enough to be able to stay in their area for the week after the wedding, and therefore I got to experience her ethereal head wraps. These photos were taken during the sheva brachot (meals eaten for the week after a Jewish wedding), one for each day.
Day Two (the first day was the wedding!)
Day Three:
Day Four:
Day Five – Morning
Day Five – Evening
The only one we didn’t get was from Friday night (day six) where she paired a colourful sari scarf wrap with a black dress.
And finally, Day Seven – taken after Shabbat!
So yes, her wrapping skills are out of this world and she is a stunning woman. However, she is so much more than these pictures can even begin to convey. You’ll see. I will now hand the writing over to Naomi so you can get to know her better.
The Weight of the Crown: Thoughts on the Visibility of Hair-Covering
My name is Naomi and I didn’t grow up religious. I want to write about hair covering, not my spiritual journey, but I felt I had to put it on the table. A lot of the practices of orthodox Judaism don’t mesh very well with secular American culture, and hair covering is definitely one of them. When you grow up identifying as an observant Jew, most people understand, even if they don’t agree with your religious reasoning, that you have a cultural practice of covering your hair. However, when you decide to become religious later in life, things become more complicated. For the rest of your life, you will have one foot in your new, observant Jewish community and the other foot at home with your non- (or less-) religious family and childhood friends. If you want to preserve your childhood and family relationships, you have to be ready to explain why you would obligate yourself to do all these frustratingly complicated things when you could have had a perfectly easy life by staying just the way you were.
Andrea and many other married Jewish women liken covering their hair to wearing a crown. Now that I’m doing it, I think this analogy is apropos on more than one level. It’s not just that both crowns and scarves are beautiful and royal-looking. It’s that by covering my hair, I become a public figure: a visible ambassador of an entire culture. To my non-Jewish friends, colleagues, and even to strangers, my behavior gets filed under “How Jews Act.” Like a queen’s crown, a judge’s robe, or a policeman’s badge, my head covering is not just an accessory. It has weight; it puts me under scrutiny. I carry on my head the heavy responsibility of giving people a positive impression of Judaism.
This certainly didn’t sink in for me right away. Even before getting engaged, I was spoiled rotten as far as preparation for hair covering goes. I poked through all of Andrea’s posts and videos. I sneakily collected scarves for months from thrift shops and piled them in a box at the back of my closet. When I was stuck at home doing laundry, I would have a complex, fancy triple-scarf wrap on my head just because. At this point, I loved hair covering in the same way that I loved cute shoes or nail polish. It was FUN, and I quickly became pretty good at it – even though I was secretive to avoid scaring my not-quite-fiancé. This period of girlish excitement persisted through most of our engagement, until about two weeks from the wedding. One day, I looked at myself in the mirror, and I realized that married me could never leave the house without a hair covering again. And then the old righteous I-should-be-allowed-to-do-whatever-I-want instinct and the why-should-“organized religion”-tell-me-what-to-do instinct kicked back in. I hadn’t heard from either of them in a while, but we all deal with them. Even those of us who stand strongly by the decisions we’ve made. It’s part of human nature to fight against obligations and limitations that make our lives more difficult, and maybe even more so when the only one to blame for the obligations is ourselves.
While I struggled to make peace with hair covering in the little time remaining before my wedding, other parts of my Jewish life blossomed in ways I had never imagined. The community around us came together and literally made our wedding. In the same sense that people say “it takes a village to raise a child,” it took our whole village to marry us. Our food was home-cooked by a couple of powerhouse local women who’ve personally catered over 150 weddings for couples who are still students or just starting out financially. Our florist lent us 30 vases and gave us a bunch of floating candles for free. I bought my dress for next-to-nothing from a Jewish vendor on Etsy who was getting rid of old inventory. Friends from the synagogue drove us around everywhere on errands since we don’t have a car.
Never before had I felt so welcome in the Jewish community, but I still had difficulty with the notion of becoming so visibly religious. What eventually helped me reconcile all of these feelings was this: When someone you trust with your life gives you a piece of advice, even if that advice is very strange, you don’t throw it out immediately. It might be hard. It might not fit the picture of what you grew up with, or what’s popular right now. Though the advice isn’t easy to take, the source of the advice is so important to you that you’ll follow it anyway. When we’re little, we think we should be allowed to eat cookies every day. Maybe we even have a friend down the street who does eat cookies every day and we resent the carrot sticks that we get in our lunches instead. But in the end of course, our moms were right – the carrots are healthier. We just weren’t in a place, as children, to understand.
My G-d and my community, collectively, represent a force of kindness, caring, and pure knowledge far greater than I possess alone. Even though it is hard to look different, hard to explain to someone on the street, when a piece of wisdom comes from Judaism, I listen. The morning after my wedding, I did that same fancy triple-scarf wrap that I’d secretly worn while doing laundry. It used to take me five minutes. That morning, my hands shook and it took me over twenty. My husband was looking on in curiosity, but I had to ask him to go away because he was making me even more nervous.
In the end, covering my hair has been both easier and harder than I thought and feared it would be. In this and many other areas of Jewish life, I am still very much a child. I struggle with wanting to eat cookies instead of carrot sticks. But the weight of the queen’s crown, the responsibility of my visible presence as a Jewish woman, reminds me that I must make the best of myself. I’ve only been married a week, and already I’ve made a concentrated effort to greet people with a smile (Should a stranger’s only contact with an observant Jew consist of a distracted frown?). I try to show up earlier, tip more generously, and listen more attentively so others know that I value them. It takes effort to push myself like this, but I’m so glad my covered head is forcing me to do it.
It is tempting to live life pursuing comfort instead of growth. But if you stay comfortable, you will never find your full potential. Cover your hair beautifully, with inner commitment, and you will literally turn heads in the street. You are in the limelight now. It isn’t going to be comfortable at all, but you just might change the world.
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I am so excited to introduce Yael to you! I was lucky to get to see her during my recent whirlwind trip to Israel, and during our time together, so many beautiful thoughts about hair covering spilled from her mouth that I had to whip out my video recorder. There is so much to say about this woman, so instead of telling you all about her, I will instead let her speak for herself:
I know, eh? Our first Lady Wrap Star on video!
Can you believe that Yael’s married name is Sunshine? How perfect is that! Here are some photos of her with her husband:
Yael is incredibly vibrant, warm, and honest. I’m sure y’all want to ask questions and hear more from her, so please tell us what you think in the comments section and Yael will do her best to respond!
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