My husband and I are at this stage of our lives during which… how to I put it? In short, we have a lot going on. A lot of options, a lot of brachas, and a lot of opportunites in terms of how to spend our time. Between running Wrapunzel, two non-profits, performing as musicians, teaching, my husband doing his doctorate, living in a vibrant community where we love to host huge meals, and oh! most importantly, striving to be present as much as possible as parents, we are being stretched with opportunities. Not to mention Pesach prep, which we are hosting. Sometimes, one needs to take a step back and realize that by saying “yes” to wonderful opportunities, one is saying “no” to something that is infinitely more important. There is a lot to say on this topic, but needless to say, we hadn’t spent much quality time together (aka not working and actually bonding) and we missed each other.
So while our commitments and obligations were looming, we decided to say “no” to everything else and “yes” to each other. We hired a babysitter for the night and went out on a date, with all work talk banned.
Needless to say, we were excited.
It was such a treat, getting dressed in colors that I know he loves, putting on (minimal) makeup, putting time into my appearance for no one else but my soulmate (who is a part of me, so really, putting time into myself). I chose a dress that made me feel great, and wore Gryffindor colors in my tichel, which I knew would make him happy.
I wore a dark red comfort and a shimmery sash that I ripped from my old gold shimmery. Here are a few more photos of my tichel:
How was it? It was under two hours, and it changed our lives. And all those other stressful obligations? They have become so much more manageable and less stressful now that we have invested time in what matters most. Shalom bayit is the greatest gift that we can give ourselves, our spouses, our children, and the world. For all of you that think you don’t have the time or can’t go out. I am here to say yes you can. Say “no” to something else and say “yes” to your marriage. You won’t regret it 🙂
Wishing you all a stress free (or at least, as little stress as possible) Pesach prep!
Love, Andrea
The Wrapunzel Blog 
Lovely…. Happy for you! and thanks for sharing.
— Kay
LikeLike
Couple time is so very important but so often gets lost in the shuffle of our lives. Even thoughmy husband and I are empty nesters I will tell him that sometimes we need to just go out without answering our phones (unless it’s one of our children and then a very short conversation) even if it’s only for ice cream. Kol hakavod that you were able to carve out some time at this very busy time.
LikeLike
I love those colours. The dress is gorgeous, too. (I have a very similar one, but with longer sleeves, so you would not even have to wear a shell with it.) And yes, you are right, it is important to take some time out for your significant other and for yourself. We need to take good care of our marriages/relationships.
LikeLike
I’m so glad you got this infusion of WE and US. Maybe you should try to plan a monthly date night?
LikeLike
We try to, but often one of us is sick or an obligation comes up that “can’t be missed”. This taught us that we cannot skip those nights.
LikeLike
Ah- ha! you just learned the most important lesson of being married, to be really married, taking time for yourselves. But don’t forget the other very important lesson, you must also TAKE TIME JUST FOR YOU!
LikeLike
So true. It’s funny, I KNOW this, and was told this by many friends/mentors, but it’s totally different to actually live it. Before we had no problem taking time for ourselves and each other, but without our even realizing, we just said “yes” to too many other things which resulted in our lacking time together.
LikeLike
Absolutely
LikeLike
Couple time is invaluable. My husband and I try for a small date each week. Even if it just coffee. He recently came back from a 10 day business trip overseas and we scheduled a date night for a few days later (he wanted to spend time as a family) and it made a world of difference. Those few hours were revitalizing for us.
LikeLike
Good for the both of you. Remember that if you don’t take care of yourselves, you cannot take care of those around you.
LikeLike
Your outfit is beautiful!
LikeLike
A very succesful way to make those dates happen…make a standing arrangement with the babysitter…. Makes it less likely that you’ll cancel because you are tired/busy etc.
LikeLike
Great idea 🙂 Though she needs to date her husband too 😛 Maybe we’ll trade off!
LikeLike
My husband and I try for a date night once a week. At the very least we go to a monthly goth night at one of the local clubs. Our favorite and most frequent way to carve an hour or so for US is to read together before bed. I love reading out loud and doing the different characters voices, he loves being read to; this works out well! We just finished “Sara Crewe, or What Happened at Miss Minchen’s”, It was SO cool to share one of my favorite books with him, and get to see it through HIS eyes. Tonight we’re starting Piers Anthony’s Incarnations of Immortality series. I can’t wait. 😀
LikeLike
Great idea!!
LikeLike
Yay, Gryffindor colors!!! Hope y’all had fun 🙂
LikeLike
I am so glad you two were able to get away. My husband and I finally got a moment this weekend ourselves. You hit the nail on the head, it put everything into perspective. Blessings to you both!
LikeLike
Aww you look so beautiful and happy! This was such a lovely post to read. Fifty points to Gryffindor!!
LikeLike