I am excited to feature Cynthia as this week’s Lady Wrap Star! Cynthia contributes so much to this community, with her lovely comments and ideas, as well as her photos that she shows us on the facebook group to give inspiration. I love her use of different shades and soft colours, and was not surprised to hear that her thoughts on hair covering are just as beautiful as the wraps she wears! Read on…
Lady Wrap Star known as:
Cynthia Doniger
How do spend your time?
I am a Licensed Massage Therapist (18 years) and a Certified Aromatherapist—After a long full career, I now see a few private clients, do consultations and teach continuing education workshops with Cross County Education. When on a teaching tour I am in 3 cities in three days. Lots of travel!
How long have you been covering your hair?
Since I married my best friend in the world!
Have you changed how you cover over time?
I began covering my hair at shul after marriage by wearing hats…I had an extensive collection which I only wore once a week. I was hat shopping and having a conversation one day with a very liberal Jewish friend—we were both trying on hats and she put on one that was gorgeous for her. I told her so and her reply was that since she normally wears a kipah & tallis, she would feel hypocritical wearing a hat or covering her hair. This chance remark began some significant soul searching on my part. I decided to cover my hair all the time, I gave away my hats because I felt like putting on a scarf (or two) was similar to my husband putting on a tallit…it was an opportunity for me to grow closer to Hashem. BTW-the friend who started all this later tried to apologized for her remark, but I wouldn’t let her because she spoke the truth as I needed to hear it,
What is your favourite scarf and/or accessory?
I have shared the pictures of my collection….I love them all! I discovered that I like volume and invested in a volumizing cotton cap for under the scarves…best accessory EVER!
What are you wearing on your head today?
Today is a lazy day wrap a heavy square gold & black square folded in a triangle just tied & tucked. I have this scarf in black & red also black & teal.
How has covering your hair affected your professional life?
It may sound crazy but I feel authentic. Because it is obvious that something is different, my students & clients all know that I am Jewish. I seems that somehow this actually gives them permission to be authentic too. So far, professionally it has been a good thing.
How did your family and friends react to your covering?
Most of the family said nothing. Either it didn’t matter or they were following the old adage –“if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” There were a few whispered remarks from liberal relatives & friends- “Well, that’s just ridiculous!” and “Where do you think you are…in the shetel?” Some Jewish friends who had not seen us in awhile took my husband aside to ask if I had a “medical condition”?!?
Any funny or inspirational covering stories you would like to share?
What I want to share (especially after that last question) is the JOY I get when I am out and encounter another woman who cover. I have to travel 2 hours to buy kosher meat. When I first got to Detroit this last time I pulled up to fill the gas tank at Costco. As I was standing there the woman at the car behind me peeked around her open car door, our eyes met (after taking in the mutual head coverings & skirts) and we shared the secret smile!
Any recommendations to someone that has a similar face shape and/or colouring?
Don’t assume that you can’t wear a particular style until you try it. I was stuck in a simple wrap style until I met Andrea and her awesome videos—now I have a wonderful time trying new wraps!
What are some of your hair covering tips/tricks/secrets?
Allow yourself some “play time” to experiment—not all wraps will be sucessful….but the more you do the more you learn.
How do you store your scarves?
My wonderful husband made a rack for me out of a wooden strip with cup hooks and I use binder clips to hold the scarves!
What is your favourite colour?
I tend to really like to match my head wrap to my outfit and so my tendency is to gravitate towards black, ivory, gold and other neutrals, but Andrea’s artistry has got me experimenting with more colour.
What are you grateful for right now?
I am grateful for finding this group of women. The Jewish community in Grand Rapids, Michigan is small. The observant Jewish community here is even smaller. Sometimes it gets a little lonely….it’s nice to connect to so many beautiful women!
So beautiful!!!
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I am thrilled to see someone recommending “play time” to experiment with wraps and see what works, what suits you, and what you can dream up. It’s a great reminder, not to mention a ton of fun.
I have my own feelings about combining a hat or scarf and a tallit, rather unlike the friend you cited, but that’s a story for another day…
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Would love to hear it one day!
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i LOVE how you played with color and texture in your creations!!! and i love how your DH made such a FANTASTIC storage solution for you!! makes the wall look so pretty and happy 😀 G-d Bless
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Yes I’m also so inspired by her textures and colours!
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I’m 58 and it’s so nice to see a more “mature” woman (although clearly younger than me) looking so fantastic in wraps!
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I really enjoyed reading this article. I would like to ask, as a Jewish woman, what is the significance of wearing a head covering? I am a Messianic/Christian woman who loves biblical Torah. I have recently started head covering due to a passage where rabbi Shaul writes a letter to the early Corinthian Messianic believers. I thought I had come to an understanding of the passage, being enlightened by the Torah passages on the necessity of wearing clothes pertaining to women, and also to do with the shame of shaving the heads of female slaves. Also in the context in Corinthians it talks about covering the head “because of the angels.” I was relating it to the fall of Hasatan, after he exalted himself and gloried in himself (and thus not to be like that but being one and equal with your husband to yet humble yourself, as a reflection of what G-d did with Himself, coming in the form of a man although He is One and having begotten himself essentially, He humbled Himself as a son would in full obedience to the law) Yeshua being a high priest in the order of Melchizedek would wear a head covering, so I thought it was a reflection of that and the point being: A head covering is an outward sign of submission (eg. Rebecca/Rivkah when she met Isaac) but that also brings you true beauty and glory. However, it also talks about it being a shame for a man to cover his head being made in the image of God, having God as his “kephale” in Greek but likely “rosh” would have been the intended understanding as a Hebrew author. Anyway, this confuses me as I understand that traditionally men wore turbans – there are many references to male head coverings in the bible, along with the tallit. The other way to understand this passage may have been that he was rebuking a certain Corinthian woman for bringing pagan worship practices into the worship of HaShem (casting off items of clothing/shaving the head). I’m confused. For now, my son loves me wearing them, and I have been wearing them when I go out if I feel my clothing is not feminine enough or needs a bit more modest making, and I feel more peaceful about wearing one while praying. It still feels quite powerful. Quite humbling. Thank you if you have taken the time to read this, I would appreciate any relevant feedback :0) Shalom!
PS this is the actual passage if it makes my question clearer:
1 Corinthians 11:2-16
“2 Now I praise you because you have remembered everything I told you and observe the traditions just the way I passed them on to you. 3 But I want you to understand that the head of every man is the Messiah, and the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of the Messiah is God. 4 Every man who prays or prophesies wearing something down over his head brings shame to his head, 5 but every woman who prays or prophesies with her head unveiled brings shame to her head — there is no difference between her and a woman who has had her head shaved. 6 For if a woman is not veiled, let her also have her hair cut short; but if it is shameful for a woman to wear her hair cut short or to have her head shaved, then let her be veiled. 7 For a man indeed should not have his head veiled, because he is the image and glory of God, and the woman is the glory of man. 8 For man was not made from woman, but woman from man; 9 and indeed man was not created for the sake of the woman but woman for the sake of the man. 10 The reason a woman should show by veiling her head that she is under authority has to do with the angels. 11 Nevertheless, in union with the Lord neither is woman independent of man nor is man independent of woman; 12 for as the woman was made from the man, so also the man is now born through the woman. But everything is from God. 13 Decide for yourselves: is it appropriate for a woman to pray to God when she is unveiled? 14 Doesn’t the nature of things itself teach you that a man who wears his hair long degrades himself? 15 But a woman who wears her hair long enhances her appearance, because her hair has been given to her as a covering. 16 However, if anyone wants to argue about it, the fact remains that we have no such custom, nor do the Messianic communities of God.”
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