Meet this week’s Lady Wrap Star and be inspired by her beautiful scarf creations!
Lady Wrap Star also known as:
Mary Burkholder:
Tell us a bit about yourself! How do you choose to spend your time?
I work in the shipbuilding industry as a 3D AutoCad/Catia designer. When I’m not at work, I am home chasing after my two boys, ages 6 and 17 months. When my babies are asleep I enjoy crocheting and spending time with my husband.
How long have you been covering?
For about 6 months now. Prior to that, I was completely unaware of covering and it’s significance until one evening when I came across Rivka Malka’s channel on YouTube. Her tichel’s are so gorgeous, and I was completely intrigued, so I started watching her how-to video’s to see how it was done. I was instantly hooked, and the desire to cover started growing in my heart until it became something I deeply wanted to do and couldn’t stop thinking about.
What is the one thing that you like best about covering your hair?
I don’t know if this will make sense to anyone else, but there is amazing dignity that comes with covering. I’ve heard it said that it’s like a crown, and that’s probably the most accurate description I can come up with. I feel an overwhelming sense of value and love for my own self when I cover. There have been more than several times when I finish my tichel and stand back to evaluate and all I can say is ‘wow, wow, wow!’. I don’t know about the average woman, but I’d venture to say, “wow” is not an emotion we frequently experience when standing in front of our mirrors. But when you cover, it happens, and it’s surprising and pleasant.:)
The very first time I ever wore a covering here at home was on a Friday night Shabbat. It was a simple brown sparkly triangle with no volumizer or other layers, very simple. My oldest son, Caleb who was 5 at the time, came in the room where I was, took one wide-eyed look at me and said “Mom you look so beautiful, you look like Shabbat!”. With one simple comment about one simple covering, he sealed in my heart that the beauty wasn’t in how great I could get it to look, but in keeping it simple enough for my children to always be able to recognize the spirit of Shabbat in what I wore. 🙂
I notice that you wear glasses – has that affected the kinds of head coverings that you wear?
No, I don’t think it’s affected the type of coverings I wear, however when I go to choose new glasses in the very near future, how they look while I’m wearing a head covering will determine my choice.
What are you wearing on your head today?
Today I’m wearing an apron style tichel from Judith de Paris coupled with a cream colored scarf.
Today I’m wearing an apron style tichel from Judith de Paris coupled with a cream colored scarf.
Do you remember the first time you wore a head covering? What did it look like? How did it feel? What did others say?
Yes I do! 🙂 This wasn’t the very first time wearing a head covering, but it was the very first time wearing one to work and it was a huge, but very significant step for me. I work in an environment that is majority male, but a good amount female in my immediate group. I was self-conscious at first, but the response from my co-workers was so overwhelmingly positive, that I felt at ease very quickly. As you see in the picture, it was two Israeli tichels, one white one purple, and a multi-colored black/purple/silver scarf wrapped around. Still one of my favorite combinations!
Your favourite scarf and/or accessory:
It is so hard to pick just one, but this is my favourite. It’s cream, brown and teal, with gold shimmer lurex woven throughout. I love shimmer. 🙂
Add a brown scarf and a butterfly pin that my mother gave me and now it’s really my favourite!
Add a brown scarf and a butterfly pin that my mother gave me and now it’s really my favourite!
Could you share a unique experience (or two) that happened to you due to covering your hair?
It’s amazing the conversations that get started. I’ve had women at work thank me because now they feel free to cover, whereas before they were really concerned about what the response would be.
What are some of your hair covering suggestions? Any tips you would like to share with us?
To don’t be discouraged when you can’t seem to get it just right. I’ve turned my arms into rubber on some looks, and on others gotten it right the very first time. What’s amazing is when you find your favorite style. Mine came after I received my volumizer from Judith de Paris. How I lived without that and my velvet head band, I will never know. But it was after that point when I stopped being afraid of “too much” volume. I don’t know now if there is such a thing for my head shape. One tip for the headband is a tiny bit of mousse. My hair is super fine and sometimes, especially after the headband starts to stretch, I find that everything wants to start sliding again. I fixed this one day by getting everything pulled into the elastic band, and then smoothing a small bit of mousse all over before putting on the headband. It gives you an extra secure feeling that really does last all day.
What is your favourite colour?
Purple is top, but I gravitate a lot towards browns, blues, teals, etc 🙂
What are you grateful for right now?
I’m beyond grateful for those precious boys of mine sleeping peacefully in the next room. I could kiss those noggins right off.
And today especially, I’m grateful for answered prayers. For a G-d who not only sees and hears, but responds. I’m super grateful today 🙂
The Wrapunzel Blog 
Lovely combinations! thanks so much for sharing!
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This was an incredibly beautiful and moving post. I love the story about your son seeing you cover your hair for the first time on Shabbat. Your choice of headcoverings are also very beautiful!
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I also teared up when reading it… there’s something so pure and honest about everything that she writes.
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Thank you Andrea and Mary for this beautiful post. Mary, you look so dignified in your gorgeous coverings. I was especially moved by the story about your son’s reaction to your covering because my little boys also tend to take notice and compliment me on my tichels (especially on Shabbat), and it is really such a wonderful and special feeling.
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Thank you all so much! Caleb says some amazing things but that definitely was at the top of the list. Kids can really blow your mind. 🙂 Love to you all!
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I find this story very moving because in some ways it echoes my own experience. “I was instantly hooked, and the desire to cover started growing in my heart until it became something I deeply wanted to do and couldn’t stop thinking about.” That has happened to me so I have begun to experiment and have just placed an order with Wrapunzel.
You would probably be surprised if you knew how old I am, but it is never too late for this mitzvah to find its way into your heart.
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You are a beautiful woman. May you and your family continue to grow.
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