Tichel Love? MELANIE Love!

On By Andrea GrinbergIn Lady Wrap Stars

I’m very happy to introduce you to Melanie!  I met her on facebook about a year back.   She is inspiring in both her enthusiasm for tichels and helping others… really, just all aspects of life!  Her upbeat posts and support of everyone is infectious!  Oh, and let’s not even begin to talk about her incredible wrapping skills – I’ll let you see for yourselves!  I know she’ll make you smile ear to ear!

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Hi Melanie!  Can you tell us a bit about yourself!  How you grew up, what you enjoy doing, how you spend your time, etc.? I was adopted out of foster care at a young age. I grew up a military child, moving around a lot. I really enjoy my children, reading, and creating things. I have 4 children. 3 boys and an angel little girl we adopted. We are foster parents and LOVE living the life of all things child related. We homeschool and spend lots of time together as a family. I love it!

What led to your covering your hair with tichels? Oh my so many things attributed to me covering my hair…the beauty of it drew me in like flames in a fire. It has been a journey of discovering who I really am.  I feel like I am hiding a piece of me that I used to let define me (as a former hairdresser) and saving it for my husband. When I do this I feel like I am showing others the true “me” not just what I wanted them to see which was for me, mostly about my looks and hair. I want to be modest and for me, that includes covering my hair and saving it for my sweet man!

How has your life changed since starting to cover? Many things have changed since I started covering. Most for the better, but let’s be real – sticking out like a (beautifully covered) sore thumb in an uncovered community has its moments, some encouraging and some just down right hard. In the hard moments I hold my Tichel up high and remember I am a Queen and I do this for the love and  respect of others whether they know it, or understand it. So I’d say it has made me more humble.

How did people around you react? They are still reacting. At first it was like an elephant in the room, sometimes that elephant is still there. When I feel it there I picture myself wrapping a beautiful Tichel on it… Then I start mentally wrapping up other women’s heads. That normally helps! Haha! Most are curious why I do, some want to argue about why they think I do, and some surprise me and start covering their own beautiful little heads! I tend to be flooded with compliments by complete strangers. Some women have started covering and will send me pictures of them all wrapped in beauti-mus-ness! I love that SO much! Overall I would say it has been taken very well by others 🙂

What do you love most about tichel tying? Everyday is a new day and a new Tichel! I am excited every night to wake up and put on a new/different Tichel the next day! I love how different ways of tying & colors and textures bring out different features of my face and my style.

PLEASE share with us your tips and tricks!! When I started buying scarves I was all over the place, anything that caught my eye I bought it. Now, I have a method to it. I like to buy lots of plain colored scarves to use as a base, I will watch for sales and stock up. So when I see different textures, odd sized pieces or wild colors I know I am bound to have a “base” that will match it. I also buy a lot of solid color clothing, that way I can be a little more wild & free when buying my Tichels and don’t have to worry about having something to match them.

What is your favourite tichel? Impossible question! Haha! Israeli Tichels are my favorite “type” though.

What recommendations would you make to someone who is just starting to learn how to tie? Watch videos of others tying, master one look you really like…and just keep trying! 😉 AND a velvet band is a MUST!

Can you tell me any interesting stories about the women you’ve met during your covering journey? A funny flattering story…I was in the grocery store with the kids, we turned onto the drink aisle and a container of juice had spilled all over the floor. I sent my oldest to go get a sales clerk and while he was gone a woman came down the other end of the aisle. She just kept staring at me. I was thinking she had seen the juice but she just kept walking straight for it, staring at me. Eventually she got so close and was about to walk right into the lake of grape juice all over the aisle so I lunged forward and said “stop!”. She was utterly shocked and snapped out of her fix on me, I said “ma’am there is juice on the floor be careful” she said…”I cannot stop staring at how beautiful your wrap, (is that what you call it?) is on your head….you are a breath of fresh air, and I cannot get enough! You are so modest AND beautiful! I don’t see this everyday!” It made me smile for a month! I promise! Haha!
I also had a case worker for one of my babies, who covers her hair and knows the lovely Zarinah El-Amin Naeem! We were so excited for the pictures from the last head wrap expo and wanted to come so bad! She would bring pictures and calendars of beautiful wraps when she would come over and we got to connect through our wraps. The first time she came to my house we both just stopped and stared at each other. It was funny and we laughed about it later. We were both so shocked to meet and have that in common!

What is your favourite colour? Oh my……the rainbow. Haha! I love all colors! I think purple and teal are my two “favorites” but it’s hard to say for sure! I love all colors!
What are you grateful for right now? The amazing, encouraging, sisterhood of women that cover as well!

 

34 thoughts on “Tichel Love? MELANIE Love!”

  1. Rachel

    Melanie, you are such an inspiration! Thank you so much for being honest about feeling sometimes like it is hard to be covered in an uncovered world. I’ve been struggling recently with feeling so different from everyone. Where we live there really aren’t women who cover. The other day I had a not so nice comment from someone about why I was covered and since then I’ve been too shy to put my wrap back on. Each morning I see my beautiful scarves and want to put them on, but have let the negativity of others keep me from what I feel is right.

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    1. Yetta

      Rachel you mustn’t let people with negative comments put you off. You are a Kings daughter and who do you want to make proud? The people or the King. Be strong and get your beautiful scarves and put it on for the King. Do know there are many who goes through the same things,comments ext. than you going through and still wears theirs – I am one of them. Be a princess and send me a photo.

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    2. frumachava

      Rachel,
      In sorry you had a discouraging moment. Put your wrap back on and hold your head up high! You are beautiful, and whatever someone said to you out of ignorance is their problem. Don’t internalize that! I’m sending you a hug and encouragement.

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    3. Oh Rachel! I tried to post a response this morning but it didn’t go through I guess! I’m sorry! I will try and recap!
      For me it helps to remind myself everyday, while I am wrapping, the “why” of it. It’s not always easy to be royalty! Not everyone agrees, or sees things the same as us. Never forget who you are and why you do what you do. Leave others to their own. My Grammy used to tell me “what others think about you is none of your buisness”….that can be hard when they say things to your face. I find wisdom in that though. 🙂
      There are lots of groups of women who cover and I suggest flooding yourself with them and their mindset to build your heart back up! Because YOU are a QUEEN!!! ❤️

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  2. Tovah

    Wow! I can totally relate. I have long curly hair and it really defined me. I feel so free now that I cover. I know people see me and not my hair! You explained it so beautifully!

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  4. Mirjam

    Hy! Thank you for your post! And thank you Rachel for your honest comment. I know it’s sometimes hard to stand to how you are, when you are so different from “every body”. But I remember that to be “normative” doesn’t not mean to be “normal”! And with this thought, i don’t care about what other people think by seeing me with this kind of crown on my head. It’s me, it’s for my husband, and that it’s. But i know that having these good thoughts one day don’t prevent the next day doubt to appear… Standing by yourself is a daily battle, I sometimes feel the same! Girls, you are not alone! Thank you Andrea for opening your blog for other women to get contact with each other! Sendind yo umuch love and encouragments from France,shalom bye bye, Mirjam.

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  6. Yetta

    Thanks for intoducing Melanie. She realy does look nice and for someone who does homeschooling I do have a lot of respect. Where does she live? Her communtity sound a lot like mine here also. Enjoy your day.

    Many blessings

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  8. frumachava

    Melanie, I’m putting your you are amazing affirmation on here today! You are so deserving of being a wrap star! I’m overwhelmed with happiness that we have come to know more about each other through this community of wrapping sisters. I thank Hashem for you, and your example of what it means to be a woman and a mother. You inspire so many, and bring happiness and beauty into our world. You’re an amazing woman, momny, friend and wrapper, of course!
    Mazal tov! I love you! You’re the best!
    Chava Canales
    P.S. I can’t wait to be neighbors! (At least in the same state, right!!)

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  9. Melanie is an inspiration. I love her “Daily Tichel” posts on Facebook.

    But I also wanted to send an encouraging note to Rachel. I understand your feelings. I live in an area with very few Jews, most of whom are secular anyway. Mostly I receive lovely comments but the one really nasty one was from one of my therapy clients when I started wrapping a few months ago. I realised that she was disconcerted because I seemed “different” and it challenged her sense of security and certain other aspects of her being. It was painful, but I knew it was her problem and we worked through it.

    Your situation is different, of course, but the premise remains the same. The person who was unkind to you has her own problems and wants to make them yours as well. Don’t let her! You have a supportive network among our sisterhood.

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  12. Rachel

    Ladies, I am overwhelmed by your kindness, thoughtful words and encouragement. What a blessing you each are. What an amazing sisterhood. I wore my wrap today! I felt like I was reuniting with a long-lost favorite friend. 🙂 There were some “looks” today from people and a few inquisitive comments but that’s it. I also had to remind myself that I’m setting an example for my children and that we are setting ourselves apart from the world. Posting a pic on the Wrapunzel FB page just for you Yetta! 😉 ❤ Rachel

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    3. Yetta

      Rachel thanks a lot for the pic you put for me on FB(but I can’t get in fb-I do not have a account and I do not want one) So if you do not mind can you please email it for me. But most of all We are proud of you – still stay strong.

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  14. Summerdays

    Melanie – you look FABULOUS in all of these photos! WOW! Thank you also for the great tips! I also discovered that solid color tichels makes my life so much easier.

    Rachel – it brought tears to my eyes when I read through the comments and found your first and then found your other comment that you wrapped again! I too, am so proud of you for wrapping again! I want to ask you a question Rachel? Do you have only one reason for wrapping? I have about 8 reasons and I don’t rattle all 8 reasons off when I’m in conversation, I usually pick one or two that they may identify with.

    Here’s an example: I went to do grocery shopping and a women gave me a real dirty look, so I smiled and nodded friendly and just started talking to her. (I mean, if she have the chutzpah to dish out dirty looks without asking, I guess I can have the chutzpah to talk to her without asking either, right?) Haha! So I said: “You know, when a friend of mine got cancer and lost all her hair due to treatment, she felt very self-conscious and discouraged to be the only one in town who is wearing a headscarf, and she just couldn’t tolerate a wig. And although I was not brave enough to shave my hair in support of her, I said I’ll hair wrap with her. Meanwhile I learned that there are SO MANY woman who lost their confidence because of HAIR! Greying hair, thinning hair, bad hair days, hair that is in need of a cut, alopecia where their hair is falling out and they are balding for no known reason or cancer… you name it! So I hope my hair wrap will make life a little bit easier for somebody else today and that it will let them know that they are not alone!” And I gave her another broad (and courageous) smile. Well…, I was totally not prepared for what followed… This same women, who just a few moments ago flashed a real dirty look my way, was standing there with watery eyes, trying to gain composure, before she said: “You are so brave, your friend is very lucky!”

    I guess we all have certain things that we regard as “personal” and won’t discuss that in public or with just anybody. I regard topics like politics, religion and marriage relations as personal and don’t discuss them in public or I don’t discuss it with others at all, just like I regard certain parts of my body as personal and don’t show it to just anybody, right? Selectively I *MAY* (very big hesitation there) decide to disclose that another one of my 8 reasons for wrapping, is because I got tired of dying my hair to cover the greying (it runs in our family – my Dad was grey in his early twenties already and you don’t let down long-standing family traditions, right? So I followed suit. Haha!) But as I say, I hardly ever discuss this reason or the other 6 reasons for that matter.

    I did have ONE women the other day (the first ever) who complimented me and then asked me whether I wrap for religious reasons! I was so surprised so I asked why she is asking, and she said that it reminded her of people in Israel. So I smiled and said that I guess that not many people would know that many of the women in Israel wrap their hair and then I asked whether she is Jewish and yes, she’s secular. 🙂 But that is TOTALLY the exception to the norm! But I have also explained to her that I am also wrapping in support of my friend with cancer (just in case she needs another reason too).

    Another hint that I can give to Rachel and everybody else, is this: SMILE! Be as friendly, open and inviting as possible, and be the first to reach out! If you see somebody who is dressed “modestly” (even slightly), tell her that you like how she put her outfit together, tell her that the color suits her well, or whatever it is that you like, but don’t just walk past quietly! Be friendly, be courteous, say thank you, acknowledge when somebody waited for you to walk first. Yes, you are different, and yes you are standing out and yes, you will definitely get noticed, but hey, I would rather be “different” than “common”! Everything that is “common” has a low price tag… if “Queen” or “Princess” doesn’t resonate with you, think of “Ferrari”, or “Lamborgini”, or “Rolls Royce”… 🙂 If you drive one of those you definitely are “different” and you definitely stand out and you definitely get noticed – and have you seen any of their occupants squirming or shying away, eyes turned down because they are so humiliated and embarrassed to admit that they just got out of that flaming, hot, super-sexy, expensive, fun, sporty, red Ferrari? Of course not! So put on your “Ferrari” head wrap and enjoy it to be different! 🙂

    When I feel discouraged or when we were attending a fancy function and I was tempted not to hair wrap, I reminded myself that my friend with cancer don’t have the option to decide whether she wants to hair wrap or not – so I decided not to give myself a choice either and just did it! And I was so glad that I did!

    Rachel dear, please accept an e-hug from me! Remember that you are special – “Ferrari” special! Haha! Hey, do you know that Ferrari owners get a lot of criticism too? Yes that’s true, people tell them that they are egocentric, self-centered, prideful and all sorts of nasty things and that they should rather donate their money to good causes rather than to drive around showing off like that! So no matter what you do, like some of the other commenters mentioned above, people have their own problems and would try to project their problems onto you – don’t take it. Please take it on yourself (and help me) to support those who have hair problems and be proud in knowing you may just make somebody’s day easier because of doing so!

    Andrea, I apologize for this looooong post, but I hope it will help somebody!

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